Wild Mushrooms for Dinner
She wanted to serve her guests mushroom-smothered steak, but she had no mushrooms and no time to buy them.
Her husband suggested, "Why don't you go pick some of the mushrooms that are growing wild down by the stream?
"No, some wild mushrooms are poisonous."
"Well, I see squirrels eating them and they're OK."
So she picked a bunch and washed, sliced and sautéed them for her dinner.
Then she went out on the back porch and gave Spot, their dog, a double handful. Spot ate every bite.
All morning long, she watched the dog.
The wild mushrooms hadn't affected him after a few hours, so she decided to use them.
The meal was a great success.
After everyone had finished, her daughter came in and whispered in her ear, "Mum, Spot is dead."
Trying to keep her head about her, she left the room as quickly as possible, called the doctor and told him what had happened.
The doctor said, "That's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I'll call for an ambulance and I'll be there as quickly as I can. We'll give everyone enemas and we'll pump out their stomach and everything will be fine. Just keep them calm."
Before long they started to hear the sirens as the ambulance tore down the road.
The Paramedics and the doctor had their suitcases, syringes and a stomach pump.
One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema and pumped out their stomach.
Well after midnight, after the last one was done the doctor came out and said, "Everything will be okay now," and with that he left.
The hosts and the guests were all weak and knackered sitting around the living room when the daughter came in and said to her mum...
"I can't believe that guy!"
"What guy?"
"You know, that bastard who ran over Spot; he never even slowed down!"
Super Bowl Tickets
Hey, a friend of mine has two tickets for the 2017 Super bowl.
They are box seats plus airfare and hotel accommodations.
He didn't realize when he bought them that this is the same day as his wedding - so he can't go.
If you're interested and want to go instead of him, it's at St Peter's Church in New York City at 5 PM.
Her name is Harriet she will be the one in the white dress.
Bill and his wife lived in a house on the beach. They saw every day, a good looking young woman making her way along the beach, approaching people and selling them something.
This worried Bill and his wife. Was she selling drugs or something worse?
Being an awkward thing to go and ask, his wife sent Bill out to find what was happening. He came back looking very relieved and said "It's OK, it's nothing."
"Just what do you mean by that?" demanded his wife.
Bill replied, "She’s a battery saleswoman, her name is Sally and she sells C cells by the sea shore."
Shorts and Late Night
Yesterday Joe Biden told some of Hillary’s campaign workers that he’s also had pneumonia before, and that if the doctor tells you to take three days off, you should actually take SIX days off. Of course, that advice only really works if your job is vice president.
We have Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump on the show tonight, which means security is very tight. On their way in, everyone in the audience had to put their keys into a tray and their deplorables into a basket.
Hillary Clinton is featured in the upcoming issue of Women’s Health magazine. While next month she’ll be featured in “Bad Timing” magazine.
-Jimmy Fallon
The White House has announced that America will accept 110,000 refugees next year. Meanwhile, Canada announced if Donald Trump wins, they’ll accept 110 million refugees.
During last night’s Rams v. 49ers NFL game, a fan that ran onto the field had more rushing yards than the entire Rams offense. The guy got arrested, so now that we know he can run and has a criminal record, he’s perfect for the NFL.
During last night’s “Dancing With the Stars,” two protesters rushed the stage during Ryan Lochte’s performance. So finally, an assault on Ryan Lochte that really happened
-Conan O’Brien
Following an uproar over her hidden pneumonia diagnosis, Hillary Clinton said yesterday that she just didn’t think it was going to be that big a deal to keep the illness from going public. Sure, when has keeping a secret ever hurt a Clinton?
-Seth Meyers
Don't just sit there smiling, share it with the rest of the class ---- Send us your humor BFloyd@ElectricSmarts.com
You are reading the best eNewsletter in the Industry. It is filled with Business Ideas, Product and Technology Tips, Web TV interview, links to Online Courses; and it always contains a few laughs to lighten your day. Sign up your employees or friends below, or send us a list complete with their name, title and email, and we'll sign them up for you.
CLICK HERE to Subscribe
Her husband suggested, "Why don't you go pick some of the mushrooms that are growing wild down by the stream?
"No, some wild mushrooms are poisonous."
"Well, I see squirrels eating them and they're OK."
So she picked a bunch and washed, sliced and sautéed them for her dinner.
Then she went out on the back porch and gave Spot, their dog, a double handful. Spot ate every bite.
All morning long, she watched the dog.
The wild mushrooms hadn't affected him after a few hours, so she decided to use them.
The meal was a great success.
After everyone had finished, her daughter came in and whispered in her ear, "Mum, Spot is dead."
Trying to keep her head about her, she left the room as quickly as possible, called the doctor and told him what had happened.
The doctor said, "That's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I'll call for an ambulance and I'll be there as quickly as I can. We'll give everyone enemas and we'll pump out their stomach and everything will be fine. Just keep them calm."
Before long they started to hear the sirens as the ambulance tore down the road.
The Paramedics and the doctor had their suitcases, syringes and a stomach pump.
One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema and pumped out their stomach.
Well after midnight, after the last one was done the doctor came out and said, "Everything will be okay now," and with that he left.
The hosts and the guests were all weak and knackered sitting around the living room when the daughter came in and said to her mum...
"I can't believe that guy!"
"What guy?"
"You know, that bastard who ran over Spot; he never even slowed down!"
Super Bowl Tickets
Hey, a friend of mine has two tickets for the 2017 Super bowl.
They are box seats plus airfare and hotel accommodations.
He didn't realize when he bought them that this is the same day as his wedding - so he can't go.
If you're interested and want to go instead of him, it's at St Peter's Church in New York City at 5 PM.
Her name is Harriet she will be the one in the white dress.
Bill and his wife lived in a house on the beach. They saw every day, a good looking young woman making her way along the beach, approaching people and selling them something.
This worried Bill and his wife. Was she selling drugs or something worse?
Being an awkward thing to go and ask, his wife sent Bill out to find what was happening. He came back looking very relieved and said "It's OK, it's nothing."
"Just what do you mean by that?" demanded his wife.
Bill replied, "She’s a battery saleswoman, her name is Sally and she sells C cells by the sea shore."
Shorts and Late Night
Yesterday Joe Biden told some of Hillary’s campaign workers that he’s also had pneumonia before, and that if the doctor tells you to take three days off, you should actually take SIX days off. Of course, that advice only really works if your job is vice president.
We have Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump on the show tonight, which means security is very tight. On their way in, everyone in the audience had to put their keys into a tray and their deplorables into a basket.
Hillary Clinton is featured in the upcoming issue of Women’s Health magazine. While next month she’ll be featured in “Bad Timing” magazine.
-Jimmy Fallon
The White House has announced that America will accept 110,000 refugees next year. Meanwhile, Canada announced if Donald Trump wins, they’ll accept 110 million refugees.
During last night’s Rams v. 49ers NFL game, a fan that ran onto the field had more rushing yards than the entire Rams offense. The guy got arrested, so now that we know he can run and has a criminal record, he’s perfect for the NFL.
During last night’s “Dancing With the Stars,” two protesters rushed the stage during Ryan Lochte’s performance. So finally, an assault on Ryan Lochte that really happened
-Conan O’Brien
Following an uproar over her hidden pneumonia diagnosis, Hillary Clinton said yesterday that she just didn’t think it was going to be that big a deal to keep the illness from going public. Sure, when has keeping a secret ever hurt a Clinton?
-Seth Meyers
Don't just sit there smiling, share it with the rest of the class ---- Send us your humor BFloyd@ElectricSmarts.com
You are reading the best eNewsletter in the Industry. It is filled with Business Ideas, Product and Technology Tips, Web TV interview, links to Online Courses; and it always contains a few laughs to lighten your day. Sign up your employees or friends below, or send us a list complete with their name, title and email, and we'll sign them up for you.
CLICK HERE to Subscribe
