Selling War Insurance
Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center where he was to advise
new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI
insurance.
It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before.
Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones's sales pitch.
Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said: "If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don't have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government has to pay only a maximum of $6000. "
"Now," he concluded," which bunch do you think they are going to send into battle first?"
Postal Workers Good Deed
There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read:
Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?
Sincerely,
Edna
The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.
Christmas came and went. A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read:
Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful Gift. By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it might have been those jerks at the post office!
Sincerely,
Edna
Be On Time
A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner. A local politician and member of the congregation was to give a speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say a few words while they waited.
"I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, screwed over his closest friends, and taken a lot of drugs. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people."
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately started his speech.
"I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived, In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession."
Shorts and Late Night
Doctors are telling the Rio athletes competing in water sports not to put their heads under water to avoid getting sick. So remember, if you're swimming at the Olympics, swim above the water.
Athletes asked how they were supposed to swim with their heads in the air, and doctors were like, "Oh, no, don't — you don't breathe in the air. That's even worse."
Donald Trump had yet another awkward moment today. Apparently there was a crying baby at one of his rallies, and Trump actually kicked it out, saying, "Get the baby out of here." It backfired when the Secret Service tried to remove Trump.
Hillary Clinton said this weekend that she's going to be at all the presidential debates, despite Trump protesting the schedule. Hillary said that even if Trump doesn't show, she's changed her positions enough that she can just debate herself.
In an interview with Harper's Bazaar magazine, Kim Kardashian claims she wants to have more privacy. Then she said, "Starting after this interview. That's what I wanted — I've had enough."
-Jimmy Fallon
The emotional season finale of "The Bachelorette" confirmed it is possible to make a lifelong commitment to your soulmate even though you were making out with another guy a simple 24 hours before.
-Jimmy Kimmel
Sesame Street announced that they have fired several of their long-time cast members. These layoffs were brought to you by the letters F and U.
-Conan O’Brien
Don't just sit there smiling, share it with the rest of the class ---- Send us your humor BFloyd@ElectricSmarts.com
You are reading the best eNewsletter in the Industry. It is filled with Business Ideas, Product and Technology Tips, Web TV interview, links to Online Courses; and it always contains a few laughs to lighten your day. Sign up your employees or friends below, or send us a list complete with their name, title and email, and we'll sign them up for you.
CLICK HERE to Subscribe
It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before.
Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones's sales pitch.
Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said: "If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don't have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government has to pay only a maximum of $6000. "
"Now," he concluded," which bunch do you think they are going to send into battle first?"
Postal Workers Good Deed
There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read:
Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?
Sincerely,
Edna
The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.
Christmas came and went. A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read:
Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful Gift. By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it might have been those jerks at the post office!
Sincerely,
Edna
Be On Time
A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner. A local politician and member of the congregation was to give a speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say a few words while they waited.
"I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, screwed over his closest friends, and taken a lot of drugs. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people."
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately started his speech.
"I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived, In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession."
Shorts and Late Night
Doctors are telling the Rio athletes competing in water sports not to put their heads under water to avoid getting sick. So remember, if you're swimming at the Olympics, swim above the water.
Athletes asked how they were supposed to swim with their heads in the air, and doctors were like, "Oh, no, don't — you don't breathe in the air. That's even worse."
Donald Trump had yet another awkward moment today. Apparently there was a crying baby at one of his rallies, and Trump actually kicked it out, saying, "Get the baby out of here." It backfired when the Secret Service tried to remove Trump.
Hillary Clinton said this weekend that she's going to be at all the presidential debates, despite Trump protesting the schedule. Hillary said that even if Trump doesn't show, she's changed her positions enough that she can just debate herself.
In an interview with Harper's Bazaar magazine, Kim Kardashian claims she wants to have more privacy. Then she said, "Starting after this interview. That's what I wanted — I've had enough."
-Jimmy Fallon
The emotional season finale of "The Bachelorette" confirmed it is possible to make a lifelong commitment to your soulmate even though you were making out with another guy a simple 24 hours before.
-Jimmy Kimmel
Sesame Street announced that they have fired several of their long-time cast members. These layoffs were brought to you by the letters F and U.
-Conan O’Brien
Don't just sit there smiling, share it with the rest of the class ---- Send us your humor BFloyd@ElectricSmarts.com
You are reading the best eNewsletter in the Industry. It is filled with Business Ideas, Product and Technology Tips, Web TV interview, links to Online Courses; and it always contains a few laughs to lighten your day. Sign up your employees or friends below, or send us a list complete with their name, title and email, and we'll sign them up for you.
CLICK HERE to Subscribe
