Circus
A husband and wife who work for the circus go to an adoption agency
looking to adopt a child, but the social workers there raise doubts
about their suitability.
So the couple produce photos of their 50-foot motor home, which is clean and well maintained and equipped with a beautiful nursery.
The social workers are satisfied by this but then raise concerns about the kind of education a child would receive while in the couple's care.
The husband puts their mind at ease, saying, "We've arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin, and computer skills."
Next though, the social workers express concern about a child being raised in a circus environment.
This time the wife explains, "Our nanny is a certified expert in pediatric care, welfare, and diet."
The social workers are finally satisfied and ask the couple, "What age child are you hoping to adopt?"
The husband says, "It doesn't really matter, as long as the kid fits in the cannon."
Tommy Bought a Horse
A young guy called Tommy bought a horse from a farmer for $250 and the farmer agreed to deliver the horse to Tommy the following day.
The next day though, the farmer turned up at Tommy's house and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died."
Tommy replied, "Well, then just give me my money back. That's fine."
The farmer said, "Sorry, I can't do that. I went and spent it already."
Tommy then said, "Okay, then, just bring me the dead horse."
The farmer was surprised and asked Tommy, "Why? What ya gonna do with him?"
Tommy replied, "I’m going to raffle him off."
The farmer laughed and said, "You can't raffle off a dead horse! Who'd buy a ticket?"
Tommy answered, "Sure I can, just watch me. I just won't tell anybody the horse is dead."
A month later, the farmer met up with Tommy again and asked, "What happened with that dead horse in the end. Did you raffle him off?"
Tommy said, "I sure did. I sold 500 tickets at $5 a piece."
The farmer said, "Didn't anyone complain?"
Tommy smiled and said, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his $5 back."
Shorts
Although I have to repeat myself several times for my children to listen, I take great comfort knowing that one day nothing will annoy them more than me repeating myself.
@mommajessiec
My wife just asked for help finding something and now I have to walk around this Home Depot pretending I don’t know her.
@simoncholland
My new chair has this feature in which if you lean back in it, just before it catches, it instills within you the fear you are about to die.
@LaptopShopWH
So the couple produce photos of their 50-foot motor home, which is clean and well maintained and equipped with a beautiful nursery.
The social workers are satisfied by this but then raise concerns about the kind of education a child would receive while in the couple's care.
The husband puts their mind at ease, saying, "We've arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin, and computer skills."
Next though, the social workers express concern about a child being raised in a circus environment.
This time the wife explains, "Our nanny is a certified expert in pediatric care, welfare, and diet."
The social workers are finally satisfied and ask the couple, "What age child are you hoping to adopt?"
The husband says, "It doesn't really matter, as long as the kid fits in the cannon."
Tommy Bought a Horse
A young guy called Tommy bought a horse from a farmer for $250 and the farmer agreed to deliver the horse to Tommy the following day.
The next day though, the farmer turned up at Tommy's house and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died."
Tommy replied, "Well, then just give me my money back. That's fine."
The farmer said, "Sorry, I can't do that. I went and spent it already."
Tommy then said, "Okay, then, just bring me the dead horse."
The farmer was surprised and asked Tommy, "Why? What ya gonna do with him?"
Tommy replied, "I’m going to raffle him off."
The farmer laughed and said, "You can't raffle off a dead horse! Who'd buy a ticket?"
Tommy answered, "Sure I can, just watch me. I just won't tell anybody the horse is dead."
A month later, the farmer met up with Tommy again and asked, "What happened with that dead horse in the end. Did you raffle him off?"
Tommy said, "I sure did. I sold 500 tickets at $5 a piece."
The farmer said, "Didn't anyone complain?"
Tommy smiled and said, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his $5 back."
Shorts
Although I have to repeat myself several times for my children to listen, I take great comfort knowing that one day nothing will annoy them more than me repeating myself.
@mommajessiec
My wife just asked for help finding something and now I have to walk around this Home Depot pretending I don’t know her.
@simoncholland
My new chair has this feature in which if you lean back in it, just before it catches, it instills within you the fear you are about to die.
@LaptopShopWH
