This Must Be True
Once upon a time there was a king who wanted to go fishing. He called
the royal weather forecaster and inquired as to the weather forecast for
the next few hours.
The weatherman assured him that there was no chance of rain in the coming days. So the king went fishing with his wife, the queen.
On the way he met a farmer on his donkey. Upon seeing the king the farmer said, "Your Majesty, you should return to the palace at once because in just a short time I expect a huge amount of rain to fall in this area."
The king was polite and considerate as he replied: "I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an extensively educated and experienced professional. Besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him and I will continue on my way."
So he continued on his way.
However, a short time later a torrential rain fell from the sky. The King and Queen were totally soaked and their entourage chuckled upon seeing them in such a shameful condition.
Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the weatherman at once! Then he summoned the farmer and offered him the prestigious and high paying role of royal forecaster.
The farmer said, "Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey's ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain."
So the king hired the donkey.
And so began the practice of hiring asses to work in the government and occupy its highest and most influential positions.
Do You Want To Go to Heaven?
Father Murphy walked into a pub and said to the first man he met, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
The man said, "I do Father."
The priest said, "Leave this pub right now!"
He then approached a second man. Father Murphy asked, "Do you want to got to heaven?"
"Certainly, Father." was the man's reply.
"Then leave this den of Satan!" said the priest.
Father Murphy then walked up to O'Toole and asked, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole replied: "No, I don't Father."
The priest looked him right in the eye and said, "You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole smiled, "Oh, when I die. Yes, Father. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."
Puns for the Educated Minds
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
-Inspire21.com
Shorts and Late Night
In the general election, Donald Trump plans on painting Hillary Clinton as money-grubbing and unethical. Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton plans on painting Donald Trump as Donald Trump.
Two new government studies report that America's obesity problem is getting worse. Both studies came with a Happy Meal.
In an interview, Donald Trump said he won't have to ask God for "much forgiveness." Unless, of course, God turns out to be a Mexican woman who's a Muslim.
It's being reported that Bernie Sanders is planning on cutting half of his campaign staff. Bernie said, "I'm saving money by only keeping the most delusional."
-Conan O’Brien
In Virginia recently, a computer crash wiped out a decade's worth of U.S. military data. However, this morning, the Chinese government called and said no problem, we backed it up.
"Today Show" host Savannah Guthrie’s skipping the Olympics in Rio because she’s pregnant and worried about the Zika virus. In a related story, Bob Costas just announced he is pregnant.
-Conan O’Brien
A recent study found that 67% of gamers will miss sleep in order to keep playing video games. They would even miss sex if that were an option.
-Seth Meyers
Don't just sit there smiling, share it with the rest of the class ---- Send us your humor BFloyd@ElectricSmarts.com
You are reading the best eNewsletter in the Industry. It is filled with Business Ideas, Product and Technology Tips, Web TV interview, links to Online Courses; and it always contains a few laughs to lighten your day. Sign up your employees or friends below, or send us a list complete with their name, title and email, and we'll sign them up for you.
CLICK HERE to Subscribe
The weatherman assured him that there was no chance of rain in the coming days. So the king went fishing with his wife, the queen.
On the way he met a farmer on his donkey. Upon seeing the king the farmer said, "Your Majesty, you should return to the palace at once because in just a short time I expect a huge amount of rain to fall in this area."
The king was polite and considerate as he replied: "I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an extensively educated and experienced professional. Besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him and I will continue on my way."
So he continued on his way.
However, a short time later a torrential rain fell from the sky. The King and Queen were totally soaked and their entourage chuckled upon seeing them in such a shameful condition.
Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the weatherman at once! Then he summoned the farmer and offered him the prestigious and high paying role of royal forecaster.
The farmer said, "Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey's ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain."
So the king hired the donkey.
And so began the practice of hiring asses to work in the government and occupy its highest and most influential positions.
Do You Want To Go to Heaven?
Father Murphy walked into a pub and said to the first man he met, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
The man said, "I do Father."
The priest said, "Leave this pub right now!"
He then approached a second man. Father Murphy asked, "Do you want to got to heaven?"
"Certainly, Father." was the man's reply.
"Then leave this den of Satan!" said the priest.
Father Murphy then walked up to O'Toole and asked, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole replied: "No, I don't Father."
The priest looked him right in the eye and said, "You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole smiled, "Oh, when I die. Yes, Father. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."
Puns for the Educated Minds
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
-Inspire21.com
Shorts and Late Night
In the general election, Donald Trump plans on painting Hillary Clinton as money-grubbing and unethical. Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton plans on painting Donald Trump as Donald Trump.
Two new government studies report that America's obesity problem is getting worse. Both studies came with a Happy Meal.
In an interview, Donald Trump said he won't have to ask God for "much forgiveness." Unless, of course, God turns out to be a Mexican woman who's a Muslim.
It's being reported that Bernie Sanders is planning on cutting half of his campaign staff. Bernie said, "I'm saving money by only keeping the most delusional."
-Conan O’Brien
In Virginia recently, a computer crash wiped out a decade's worth of U.S. military data. However, this morning, the Chinese government called and said no problem, we backed it up.
"Today Show" host Savannah Guthrie’s skipping the Olympics in Rio because she’s pregnant and worried about the Zika virus. In a related story, Bob Costas just announced he is pregnant.
-Conan O’Brien
A recent study found that 67% of gamers will miss sleep in order to keep playing video games. They would even miss sex if that were an option.
-Seth Meyers
Don't just sit there smiling, share it with the rest of the class ---- Send us your humor BFloyd@ElectricSmarts.com
You are reading the best eNewsletter in the Industry. It is filled with Business Ideas, Product and Technology Tips, Web TV interview, links to Online Courses; and it always contains a few laughs to lighten your day. Sign up your employees or friends below, or send us a list complete with their name, title and email, and we'll sign them up for you.
CLICK HERE to Subscribe
