The New Clothing Store
Rosanne a beautiful young foreigner walked into a small clothing store in the mall with her English speaking fiance.
“Excuse me,” said her fiance with just a touch of an accent, “would it be ok with you if my fiance tried on the dress in the window?”
“Listen,” said the owner after just a brief pause, “business has been slow here for a while now, if you’re fine with her changing in the window, let her go on ahead, maybe it will bring in a few customers.”
What's Good Tonight?
One of the most popular questions asked at our family restaurant is “What’s good tonight?”
Now, we would never serve anything we didn’t think was good. So I braced myself one Saturday night when I heard the dreaded question posed to my husband.
He calmly replied, “Anything over $17.95.”
Shane. My Office. Now.
Shane works in the deli department of a large supermarket chain, where he often finds himself in trouble.
Just look at the notes management has supposedly written to him:
“Shane, stop putting Some Assembly Required stickers on the eight-piece chickens.”
“Shane, any free samples you give must come from the deli, not electronics.”
“Shane, when a customer asks where to find a product, give them an aisle number, not directions to Albertsons.”
Yearbook Signers Beware
My son and I were checking out a house he was interested in buying.
When the owner came to the door, she looked at me and said, “Larry? I know you. We went to school together. I’m Elaine. Don’t you recognize me?”
I drew a complete blank.
She took out our old yearbook and showed me her graduation picture—still nothing.
“Let’s look at your picture.” she said.
She flipped the pages until she came to me.
Under my photo I had written, “Elaine, I will never forget you.”
Shorts and Late Night
A woman in New York recently sued KFC because her bucket of chicken wasn’t as full as it was depicted in the ad. She’s suing them for $20 million. This is the first person who has eaten an entire bucket of KFC and was like, “That wasn’t enough.”
And she says that she’s angry that the bucket in the ad wasn’t realistic, right? Does this woman understand how advertising works?
President Obama actually said yesterday that if things get better under President Trump, he’ll be the first to congratulate him. Well, technically, he’ll be the second because Trump will congratulate himself first.
-Jimmy Fallon
According to The New York Times, Donald Trump wants to continue holding large rallies after he takes office — and Hillary Clinton wants to continue hiking deeper and deeper into the woods.
-Seth Meyers
Hillary underperformed among women, African-Americans, Hispanics, and young voters. Really the only place she did very well was among pollsters.
-Jimmy Kimmel
Well, That's a Creative Answer
A student seeking a job at our university was handed an application. He dutifully filled out his name and address. When it came to the entry “length of residence,” he wrote: “Approximately 30 feet.”
Put-Downs Down Under
A Briton flies into Australia and is asked by the immigration officer, “Do you have any felony convictions?”
The Briton replies, “Sorry. I didn’t realize that was still a requirement.”
Don't just sit there smiling, share it with the rest of the class ---- Send us your humor BFloyd@ElectricSmarts.com
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“Excuse me,” said her fiance with just a touch of an accent, “would it be ok with you if my fiance tried on the dress in the window?”
“Listen,” said the owner after just a brief pause, “business has been slow here for a while now, if you’re fine with her changing in the window, let her go on ahead, maybe it will bring in a few customers.”
What's Good Tonight?
One of the most popular questions asked at our family restaurant is “What’s good tonight?”
Now, we would never serve anything we didn’t think was good. So I braced myself one Saturday night when I heard the dreaded question posed to my husband.
He calmly replied, “Anything over $17.95.”
Shane. My Office. Now.
Shane works in the deli department of a large supermarket chain, where he often finds himself in trouble.
Just look at the notes management has supposedly written to him:
“Shane, stop putting Some Assembly Required stickers on the eight-piece chickens.”
“Shane, any free samples you give must come from the deli, not electronics.”
“Shane, when a customer asks where to find a product, give them an aisle number, not directions to Albertsons.”
Yearbook Signers Beware
My son and I were checking out a house he was interested in buying.
When the owner came to the door, she looked at me and said, “Larry? I know you. We went to school together. I’m Elaine. Don’t you recognize me?”
I drew a complete blank.
She took out our old yearbook and showed me her graduation picture—still nothing.
“Let’s look at your picture.” she said.
She flipped the pages until she came to me.
Under my photo I had written, “Elaine, I will never forget you.”
Shorts and Late Night
A woman in New York recently sued KFC because her bucket of chicken wasn’t as full as it was depicted in the ad. She’s suing them for $20 million. This is the first person who has eaten an entire bucket of KFC and was like, “That wasn’t enough.”
And she says that she’s angry that the bucket in the ad wasn’t realistic, right? Does this woman understand how advertising works?
President Obama actually said yesterday that if things get better under President Trump, he’ll be the first to congratulate him. Well, technically, he’ll be the second because Trump will congratulate himself first.
-Jimmy Fallon
According to The New York Times, Donald Trump wants to continue holding large rallies after he takes office — and Hillary Clinton wants to continue hiking deeper and deeper into the woods.
-Seth Meyers
Hillary underperformed among women, African-Americans, Hispanics, and young voters. Really the only place she did very well was among pollsters.
-Jimmy Kimmel
Well, That's a Creative Answer
A student seeking a job at our university was handed an application. He dutifully filled out his name and address. When it came to the entry “length of residence,” he wrote: “Approximately 30 feet.”
Put-Downs Down Under
A Briton flies into Australia and is asked by the immigration officer, “Do you have any felony convictions?”
The Briton replies, “Sorry. I didn’t realize that was still a requirement.”
Don't just sit there smiling, share it with the rest of the class ---- Send us your humor BFloyd@ElectricSmarts.com
You are reading the best eNewsletter in the Industry. It is filled with Business Ideas, Product and Technology Tips, Web TV interview, links to Online Courses; and it always contains a few laughs to lighten your day. Sign up your employees or friends below, or send us a list complete with their name, title and email, and we'll sign them up for you.
CLICK HERE to Subscribe
