St. Patrick's Day Hold Up
It's Saint Patrick's Day and an armed hooded robber bursts into the Bank
of Ireland and forces the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his
way out the door with the loot one brave Irish customer grabs the hood
and pulls it off revealing the robber's face.
The robber shoots the man without hesitation.
He then looks around the bank to see if anyone else has seen him. One of the tellers is looking straight at him and the robber walks over and calmly shoots him dead.
Everyone by now is very scared and looking down at the floor.
"Did anyone else see my face?" screams the robber.
There is a few moments of silence then one elderly Irish gent, looking down, tentatively raises his hand and says, "I think me wife here may have caught a glimpse."
Start With a 5
One of our interns asked another if she was planning to sign up for the company’s 401(k).
“I’m considering it.” replied the second intern.
Later, the first intern approached me looking concerned.
“I did the math,” she said, “and 401K is almost 250 miles. She’ll never make it!”
For My Next Impression
I’m now in high school, so when I ran into my third-grade teacher, I doubted she would remember me.
“Hi, Miss Butcher.” I said.
“Hi, Eddie.” she replied.
“So you do remember me?” I asked.
“Sure. You don’t always leave a good impression, but it is a lasting one.”
=====
What’s the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo??
A Hippo is a little heavy.
A Zippo is a little lighter.
Ha Ha!
- Gina Stark
Vital Signs
She’s only in her 40s, but my friend Mary has bounced back from cancer, heart problems, even a stroke.
Through it all, she and her husband, Mark, have kept their sense of humor.
One day she said, “You know what kills me … ?”
Smiling, Mark teased, “Apparently nothing.”
Guest Relations
Our eldest daughter, Ann, invited her college roommate to join our large family for Thanksgiving dinner.
As families sometimes do, we got into a lively argument over a trivial subject until we remembered we had a guest in our midst.
There was an immediate, embarrassed silence.
“Please don’t worry about me,” she said. “I was brought up in a family too.”
Shorts
Remember when you could refer to your knees as right and left instead of good and bad?
Kids today don’t know how easy they have it. When I was young I had to walk nine feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well pee while I’m here.”
Google request:
How to disable autocorrect in wife?
What are a shark’s two most favorite words?
Man overboard!
Losing a wife can be very tough. Some may even say impossible.
Don't just sit there smiling, share it with the rest of the class ---- Send us your humor BFloyd@ElectricSmarts.com
You are reading the best eNewsletter in the Industry. It is filled with Business Ideas, Product and Technology Tips, Web TV interview, links to Online Courses; and it always contains a few laughs to lighten your day. Sign up your employees or friends below, or send us a list complete with their name, title and email, and we'll sign them up for you.
CLICK HERE to subscribe.
The robber shoots the man without hesitation.
He then looks around the bank to see if anyone else has seen him. One of the tellers is looking straight at him and the robber walks over and calmly shoots him dead.
Everyone by now is very scared and looking down at the floor.
"Did anyone else see my face?" screams the robber.
There is a few moments of silence then one elderly Irish gent, looking down, tentatively raises his hand and says, "I think me wife here may have caught a glimpse."
Start With a 5
One of our interns asked another if she was planning to sign up for the company’s 401(k).
“I’m considering it.” replied the second intern.
Later, the first intern approached me looking concerned.
“I did the math,” she said, “and 401K is almost 250 miles. She’ll never make it!”
For My Next Impression
I’m now in high school, so when I ran into my third-grade teacher, I doubted she would remember me.
“Hi, Miss Butcher.” I said.
“Hi, Eddie.” she replied.
“So you do remember me?” I asked.
“Sure. You don’t always leave a good impression, but it is a lasting one.”
=====
What’s the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo??
A Hippo is a little heavy.
A Zippo is a little lighter.
Ha Ha!
- Gina Stark
Vital Signs
She’s only in her 40s, but my friend Mary has bounced back from cancer, heart problems, even a stroke.
Through it all, she and her husband, Mark, have kept their sense of humor.
One day she said, “You know what kills me … ?”
Smiling, Mark teased, “Apparently nothing.”
Guest Relations
Our eldest daughter, Ann, invited her college roommate to join our large family for Thanksgiving dinner.
As families sometimes do, we got into a lively argument over a trivial subject until we remembered we had a guest in our midst.
There was an immediate, embarrassed silence.
“Please don’t worry about me,” she said. “I was brought up in a family too.”
Shorts
Remember when you could refer to your knees as right and left instead of good and bad?
Kids today don’t know how easy they have it. When I was young I had to walk nine feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well pee while I’m here.”
Google request:
How to disable autocorrect in wife?
What are a shark’s two most favorite words?
Man overboard!
Losing a wife can be very tough. Some may even say impossible.
Don't just sit there smiling, share it with the rest of the class ---- Send us your humor BFloyd@ElectricSmarts.com
You are reading the best eNewsletter in the Industry. It is filled with Business Ideas, Product and Technology Tips, Web TV interview, links to Online Courses; and it always contains a few laughs to lighten your day. Sign up your employees or friends below, or send us a list complete with their name, title and email, and we'll sign them up for you.
CLICK HERE to subscribe.
