A Woman Goes to the Doctor Worried About Her Husband's Temper
A woman goes to the Doctor, worried about her husband's temper.
The Doctor asks: "What's the problem?"
The woman says: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me."
The Doctor says: "I have a cure for that. When it seems that your husband is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow it until he either leaves the room or calms down."
Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.
The woman says: "Doctor that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and he calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?"
The Doctor says: "The water itself does nothing. It's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick."
Dad's New Wife Tries To Ruin Her Wedding Day, But Then Her Real Mom Comes To The Rescue
Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement – not even her parents' nasty divorce.
Her mother had found the perfect dress to wear, and would be the best dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!
A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother.
Jennifer asked her father's new young wife to exchange it, but she refused. "Absolutely not! I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it." she replied.
Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, "Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day."
A few days later, they went shopping, and did find another gorgeous dress for her mother.
When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it."
Her mother just smiled and replied, "Of course I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding."
An Old Farmer Catches a Group Of Women Skinny Dipping In His Pond
An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him: "We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."
Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligators!"
Some old men can still think fast.
A Navy Master Chief Questions a New Seaman
The crusty Navy Master Chief noticed a new face and barked at him, "Get over here! What's your name, sailor?"
"John." the new seaman replied.
"Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they're teaching sailors in boot camp these days, but I don't call anyone by his first name." the chief scowled. "It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my sailors by their last names only; Smith, Jones, Baker, Jackson, whatever. And you are to refer to me as 'Master Chief.’ Do I make myself clear?"
"Aye, Aye, Master Chief!"
"Now that we've got that straight, what's your last name?"
The seaman sighed. "Darling, My name is John Darling, Master Chief."
"Okay, John, here's what I want you to do ...."
Shorts
Things haven't been going too great for Jeb Bush, but he's not giving up. His campaign has spent the most money on TV ads, $30 million. I don't want to say Jeb's run too many ads, but his new Secret Service code name is “Geico.”
Hillary Clinton recently started following a bunch of new people and organizations on Instagram, including the home improvement channel, HGTV. When asked why, Hillary was like, "Oh, I'm getting a new house soon."
In a recent interview, Donald Trump's daughter Ivanka said that there are times when she disagrees with her father. But then there are MORE times when she likes the idea of inheriting a billion dollars. Double-edged sword.
The Philadelphia 76ers set a new record for the longest losing streak in American sports history, with 28 losses in a row since last season. You know the 76ers are bad when THEY leave the game early to beat traffic.
-Jimmy Fallon
Ford has a new software update that will enable Siri in some of their vehicles. So soon you can be in your Ford telling Siri to take you to a Honda dealership.
-Conan O’Brien
McDonald's is thinking of introducing table service at their restaurants. If you're sitting down at McDonald's for dinner, you really do need another human being to come over to you and say, “Hey, how are you doing tonight?” Even though we all know the answer is, “Yeah, not great.”
-James Corden
Don't just sit there smiling, share it with the rest of the class ---- Send us your humor BFloyd@ElectricSmarts.com
You are reading the best eNewsletter in the Industry. It is filled with Business Ideas, Product and Technology Tips, Web TV interview, links to Online Courses; and it always contains a few laughs to lighten your day. Sign up your employees or friends below, or send us a list complete with their name, title and email, and we'll sign them up for you.
CLICK HERE to Subscribe
The Doctor asks: "What's the problem?"
The woman says: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me."
The Doctor says: "I have a cure for that. When it seems that your husband is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow it until he either leaves the room or calms down."
Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.
The woman says: "Doctor that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and he calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?"
The Doctor says: "The water itself does nothing. It's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick."
Dad's New Wife Tries To Ruin Her Wedding Day, But Then Her Real Mom Comes To The Rescue
Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement – not even her parents' nasty divorce.
Her mother had found the perfect dress to wear, and would be the best dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!
A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother.
Jennifer asked her father's new young wife to exchange it, but she refused. "Absolutely not! I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it." she replied.
Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, "Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day."
A few days later, they went shopping, and did find another gorgeous dress for her mother.
When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it."
Her mother just smiled and replied, "Of course I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding."
An Old Farmer Catches a Group Of Women Skinny Dipping In His Pond
An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him: "We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."
Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligators!"
Some old men can still think fast.
A Navy Master Chief Questions a New Seaman
The crusty Navy Master Chief noticed a new face and barked at him, "Get over here! What's your name, sailor?"
"John." the new seaman replied.
"Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they're teaching sailors in boot camp these days, but I don't call anyone by his first name." the chief scowled. "It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my sailors by their last names only; Smith, Jones, Baker, Jackson, whatever. And you are to refer to me as 'Master Chief.’ Do I make myself clear?"
"Aye, Aye, Master Chief!"
"Now that we've got that straight, what's your last name?"
The seaman sighed. "Darling, My name is John Darling, Master Chief."
"Okay, John, here's what I want you to do ...."
Shorts
Things haven't been going too great for Jeb Bush, but he's not giving up. His campaign has spent the most money on TV ads, $30 million. I don't want to say Jeb's run too many ads, but his new Secret Service code name is “Geico.”
Hillary Clinton recently started following a bunch of new people and organizations on Instagram, including the home improvement channel, HGTV. When asked why, Hillary was like, "Oh, I'm getting a new house soon."
In a recent interview, Donald Trump's daughter Ivanka said that there are times when she disagrees with her father. But then there are MORE times when she likes the idea of inheriting a billion dollars. Double-edged sword.
The Philadelphia 76ers set a new record for the longest losing streak in American sports history, with 28 losses in a row since last season. You know the 76ers are bad when THEY leave the game early to beat traffic.
-Jimmy Fallon
Ford has a new software update that will enable Siri in some of their vehicles. So soon you can be in your Ford telling Siri to take you to a Honda dealership.
-Conan O’Brien
McDonald's is thinking of introducing table service at their restaurants. If you're sitting down at McDonald's for dinner, you really do need another human being to come over to you and say, “Hey, how are you doing tonight?” Even though we all know the answer is, “Yeah, not great.”
-James Corden
Don't just sit there smiling, share it with the rest of the class ---- Send us your humor BFloyd@ElectricSmarts.com
You are reading the best eNewsletter in the Industry. It is filled with Business Ideas, Product and Technology Tips, Web TV interview, links to Online Courses; and it always contains a few laughs to lighten your day. Sign up your employees or friends below, or send us a list complete with their name, title and email, and we'll sign them up for you.
CLICK HERE to Subscribe
