A Pill To Help Sleep
Bill struggled to get up early in the morning and as a result was always
late for work. His boss got fed up of his constant lateness and so
threatened to fire him if he didn't get his act together.
So Bill went to see his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it just before going to bed.
Bill did this, and slept very well and actually beat the alarm clock by two hours. So he fixed himself a nice breakfast and drove happily to work, in plenty of time for the start of the work day.
When he got there, he said, "Boss, that pill the doctor gave me actually worked!"
His boss said, "That's all very well, but where were you yesterday?"
The Son-In-Law
A very successful businessman went to visit his new son-in-law.
He said to him, "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family. To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn how everything works."
The son-in-law said, "That's very kind of you but I hate factories. I can't stand the noise."
"Oh, I see," said the father-in-law. "In that case, you can work in the office and take charge of some of the operations there."
"That's very kind of you but I hate office work too." said the son-on-law. "I can’t stand being stuck behind a desk in an office all day, every day."
"Wait a minute," said the father-in-law who was getting a little annoyed now. "I just made you half-owner of a huge money-making organization, but you don't like factories and you won't work in an office. What am I going to do with you?"
"Easy," said the young man. "Buy me out."
Limited Upward Mobility
A young executive is leaving the office late one evening, when he finds the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," says the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work for me?"
"Sure," the young executive says.
He turns the machine on, inserts the paper, and presses the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" says the CEO as his paper disappears inside the machine. "I just need one copy."
The Blonde and the Bull
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500.
The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram."
She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word.
She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable."
Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?"
The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"
-- Shorts and Late Night --
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?
You're not fat, you're just... easier to see.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
Don't just sit there smiling, share it with the rest of the class ---- Send us your humor BFloyd@ElectricSmarts.com
You are reading the best eNewsletter in the Industry. It is filled with Business Ideas, Product and Technology Tips, Web TV interview, links to Online Courses; and it always contains a few laughs to lighten your day. Sign up your employees or friends below, or send us a list complete with their name, title and email, and we'll sign them up for you.
CLICK HERE to Subscribe
So Bill went to see his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it just before going to bed.
Bill did this, and slept very well and actually beat the alarm clock by two hours. So he fixed himself a nice breakfast and drove happily to work, in plenty of time for the start of the work day.
When he got there, he said, "Boss, that pill the doctor gave me actually worked!"
His boss said, "That's all very well, but where were you yesterday?"
The Son-In-Law
A very successful businessman went to visit his new son-in-law.
He said to him, "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family. To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn how everything works."
The son-in-law said, "That's very kind of you but I hate factories. I can't stand the noise."
"Oh, I see," said the father-in-law. "In that case, you can work in the office and take charge of some of the operations there."
"That's very kind of you but I hate office work too." said the son-on-law. "I can’t stand being stuck behind a desk in an office all day, every day."
"Wait a minute," said the father-in-law who was getting a little annoyed now. "I just made you half-owner of a huge money-making organization, but you don't like factories and you won't work in an office. What am I going to do with you?"
"Easy," said the young man. "Buy me out."
Limited Upward Mobility
A young executive is leaving the office late one evening, when he finds the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," says the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work for me?"
"Sure," the young executive says.
He turns the machine on, inserts the paper, and presses the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" says the CEO as his paper disappears inside the machine. "I just need one copy."
The Blonde and the Bull
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500.
The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram."
She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word.
She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable."
Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?"
The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"
-- Shorts and Late Night --
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?
You're not fat, you're just... easier to see.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
Don't just sit there smiling, share it with the rest of the class ---- Send us your humor BFloyd@ElectricSmarts.com
You are reading the best eNewsletter in the Industry. It is filled with Business Ideas, Product and Technology Tips, Web TV interview, links to Online Courses; and it always contains a few laughs to lighten your day. Sign up your employees or friends below, or send us a list complete with their name, title and email, and we'll sign them up for you.
CLICK HERE to Subscribe
