Tribal Wisdom vs. Government Wisdom
The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to
generation, says that; “When you discover that you are riding a dead
horse, best strategy is to dismount".
However, in government, more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:
1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
4. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses.
5. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
6. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.
7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.
9. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse's performance.
10. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.
11. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.
12. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.
And of course....
13 Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.
If you don't understand this theory, you haven't lived long enough.
Incumbent Imbecile
Recently I heard the former mayor of Reading, Pennsylvania recount some funny stories about his time in office.
One happened while he was running for reelection; he was in a bar and paid for a woman’s drink.
She thanked him but wondered why a stranger had bought her a beer.
“I’m running for mayor,” he told her, “and I want your vote.”
“You got it.” she said, grabbing her glass. “Anyone’s better than the jerk who’s in there now.”
Start with a 5K
One of our interns asked another if she was planning to sign up for the company’s 401(k).
“I’m considering it.” replied the second intern.
Later, the first intern approached me looking concerned.
“I did the math,” she said, “and 401K is almost 250 miles. She’ll never make it!”
What Not To Say in a Job Interview
My boss and I took a job applicant to lunch, where we tried, with little success, to get him to open up about his experience and qualifications.
Frustrated, my boss set his salad aside and proposed a specific and complex situation to the young man, then asked, “What would you do?”
The applicant hesitated, then, looking my boss straight in the eye, said, “Are you going to eat all those tomatoes?”
Shorts and Late Night
According to a new study, marijuana users are twice as likely to suffer from a heart condition known as stress cardiomyopathy. But they’re three times as likely not to care.
A woman has been charged with filing a false police report after posting that she had been kidnapped on Facebook. People grew suspicious when the woman “liked” her own kidnapping.
A United Airlines pilot made a speech over the intercom warning his passengers not to make political rants. He said, “Please continue, as always, to focus all your rage on United Airlines.”
-Conan O’Brien
Yesterday, Vice President Joe Biden and Vice President-elect Mike Pence had lunch together. Pence was like, “I’m eager to discuss the issues facing our nation.” While Biden said, “If you tell the waiter it’s your birthday, you get a free piece of cake.”
Ricky Martin announced that he is engaged to his boyfriend, who happens to be Syrian. Ricky got down on one knee and said, “Will you help me make Donald Trump’s head explode?”
Carrie Fisher said that she went public with her affair with Harrison Ford because she felt like she waited an appropriate amount of time. Specifically, she said it was “a long time ago in a Winnebago far, far away.”
Obama began his final foreign trip in Athens, Greece, while back in the White House Joe Biden held his final toga party as vice president.
-Jimmy Fallon
Don't just sit there smiling, share it with the rest of the class ---- Send us your humor BFloyd@ElectricSmarts.com
You are reading the best eNewsletter in the Industry. It is filled with Business Ideas, Product and Technology Tips, Web TV interview, links to Online Courses; and it always contains a few laughs to lighten your day. Sign up your employees or friends below, or send us a list complete with their name, title and email, and we'll sign them up for you.
CLICK HERE to Subscribe
However, in government, more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:
1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
4. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses.
5. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
6. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.
7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.
9. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse's performance.
10. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.
11. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.
12. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.
And of course....
13 Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.
If you don't understand this theory, you haven't lived long enough.
Incumbent Imbecile
Recently I heard the former mayor of Reading, Pennsylvania recount some funny stories about his time in office.
One happened while he was running for reelection; he was in a bar and paid for a woman’s drink.
She thanked him but wondered why a stranger had bought her a beer.
“I’m running for mayor,” he told her, “and I want your vote.”
“You got it.” she said, grabbing her glass. “Anyone’s better than the jerk who’s in there now.”
Start with a 5K
One of our interns asked another if she was planning to sign up for the company’s 401(k).
“I’m considering it.” replied the second intern.
Later, the first intern approached me looking concerned.
“I did the math,” she said, “and 401K is almost 250 miles. She’ll never make it!”
What Not To Say in a Job Interview
My boss and I took a job applicant to lunch, where we tried, with little success, to get him to open up about his experience and qualifications.
Frustrated, my boss set his salad aside and proposed a specific and complex situation to the young man, then asked, “What would you do?”
The applicant hesitated, then, looking my boss straight in the eye, said, “Are you going to eat all those tomatoes?”
Shorts and Late Night
According to a new study, marijuana users are twice as likely to suffer from a heart condition known as stress cardiomyopathy. But they’re three times as likely not to care.
A woman has been charged with filing a false police report after posting that she had been kidnapped on Facebook. People grew suspicious when the woman “liked” her own kidnapping.
A United Airlines pilot made a speech over the intercom warning his passengers not to make political rants. He said, “Please continue, as always, to focus all your rage on United Airlines.”
-Conan O’Brien
Yesterday, Vice President Joe Biden and Vice President-elect Mike Pence had lunch together. Pence was like, “I’m eager to discuss the issues facing our nation.” While Biden said, “If you tell the waiter it’s your birthday, you get a free piece of cake.”
Ricky Martin announced that he is engaged to his boyfriend, who happens to be Syrian. Ricky got down on one knee and said, “Will you help me make Donald Trump’s head explode?”
Carrie Fisher said that she went public with her affair with Harrison Ford because she felt like she waited an appropriate amount of time. Specifically, she said it was “a long time ago in a Winnebago far, far away.”
Obama began his final foreign trip in Athens, Greece, while back in the White House Joe Biden held his final toga party as vice president.
-Jimmy Fallon
Don't just sit there smiling, share it with the rest of the class ---- Send us your humor BFloyd@ElectricSmarts.com
You are reading the best eNewsletter in the Industry. It is filled with Business Ideas, Product and Technology Tips, Web TV interview, links to Online Courses; and it always contains a few laughs to lighten your day. Sign up your employees or friends below, or send us a list complete with their name, title and email, and we'll sign them up for you.
CLICK HERE to Subscribe
