Helicopter Ride
Walter took his wife Ethel to the state fair every year, and every time
he would say to her, "Ethel, you know that I'd love to go for a ride in
that helicopter." But Ethel would always reply, "I know that Walter, but
that helicopter ride is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars."
Finally, they went to the fair, and Walter said to Ethel, "Ethel, you know I'm 87 years old now. If I don't ride that helicopter this year, I may never get another chance." Once again Ethel replied, "Walter, you know that helicopter is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars."
This time the helicopter pilot overheard the couple's conversation and said, "Listen folks, I'll make a deal with you. I'll take both of you for a ride; if you can both stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word I won't charge you! But if you say just one word, it's 50 dollars."
Walter and Ethel agreed and up they went in the helicopter. The pilot performed all kinds of fancy moves and tricks, but not a word was said by either Walter or Ethel. The pilot did his death-defying tricks over and over again, but still there wasn't so much as one word said. When they finally landed, the pilot turned to Walter and said, "Wow! I've got to hand it to you. I did everything I could to get you to scream or shout out, but you didn't. I'm really impressed!"
Mean Boss
The CEO of a large company was walking to the cafeteria along with two of his secretaries. Upon tripping on a bottle, a genie appeared and asked the threesome if they would like to each make a wish.
Cheap Parking
A women walks into a bank in New York City and asks for a loan.
She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the women hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce.
The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the women for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the women returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The women replies: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
Shorts
Finally, they went to the fair, and Walter said to Ethel, "Ethel, you know I'm 87 years old now. If I don't ride that helicopter this year, I may never get another chance." Once again Ethel replied, "Walter, you know that helicopter is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars."
This time the helicopter pilot overheard the couple's conversation and said, "Listen folks, I'll make a deal with you. I'll take both of you for a ride; if you can both stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word I won't charge you! But if you say just one word, it's 50 dollars."
Walter and Ethel agreed and up they went in the helicopter. The pilot performed all kinds of fancy moves and tricks, but not a word was said by either Walter or Ethel. The pilot did his death-defying tricks over and over again, but still there wasn't so much as one word said. When they finally landed, the pilot turned to Walter and said, "Wow! I've got to hand it to you. I did everything I could to get you to scream or shout out, but you didn't. I'm really impressed!"
Walter replied, "Well to be honest I almost said something when Ethel fell out but, you know, 50 dollars is 50 dollars!"
Mean Boss
The CEO of a large company was walking to the cafeteria along with two of his secretaries. Upon tripping on a bottle, a genie appeared and asked the threesome if they would like to each make a wish.
The first secretary excitedly exclaimed, “I wish I was on a beach in a tropical island!”
Immediately her wish was granted.
The next secretary proclaimed, “I wish I was on a tour of France!”
Immediately her wish too, was granted.
Being
that it was now his turn to make a wish the CEO exclaimed “I want the
two of them back in their offices right after lunch!”
Cheap Parking
A women walks into a bank in New York City and asks for a loan.
She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the women hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce.
The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the women for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the women returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The women replies: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
Shorts
An elderly woman died last
month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her
handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They
wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out
when I'm dead.
A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."
A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home.
A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."
A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home.
Sign up
for any one of our eNewsletters and stay informed on the latest new
products, emerging technologies, and time-saving strategies in the
industry. These industry focused newsletters give you the information
you need, delivered right to your inbox.
