On Second Thought
Dan and Brandon are playing a spectacular new golf course built on very scenic terrain – cliffsides and gullies and ravines.
They reach the 6th hole, where Dan slices a ball into a thickly wooded, deep ravine. But Dan is determined not to take a penalty stroke, so he grabs his 8-iron and starts descending into the ravine in search of his ball.
The brush is terribly thick and tearing at Dan’s clothes. The sunlight is dimmed by all the overhanging branches and vines. But Dan keeps searching, and finally spots something shiny down below.
As he nears the object, he realizes it’s not a ball, but a golf club. Dan takes a closer look only to discover that it is an 8-iron – and it’s in the hands of a human skeleton laying near an old golf ball!
Dan yells out for his partner. “Hey Brandon, get over here, I got trouble down here!”
Brandon hurries over to the edge of the ravine and yells down, “What’s the matter Dan?”
Peanuts, Please
A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’d like to buy some peanuts.” The bartender says, “Sorry, don’t sell peanuts.” The duck leaves.
The next day, the duck returns and again says, “I want to buy some peanuts.” The bartender replies, a bit gruffly this time, “I already told you I don’t sell peanuts.” The duck leaves.
The next day, the duck comes in once again and yet again demands, “I want to buy some peanuts!” The outraged bartender yells back, “I told you, I don’t sell peanuts! If you ask one more time, I’ll nail you to the wall!” The duck leaves.
The next day, the duck walks into the bar and before the bartender can say a word, the duck asks, “Do you have any nails?” The bartender looks taken aback and says quietly, “Sorry, don’t have nails.”
Shorts
They reach the 6th hole, where Dan slices a ball into a thickly wooded, deep ravine. But Dan is determined not to take a penalty stroke, so he grabs his 8-iron and starts descending into the ravine in search of his ball.
The brush is terribly thick and tearing at Dan’s clothes. The sunlight is dimmed by all the overhanging branches and vines. But Dan keeps searching, and finally spots something shiny down below.
As he nears the object, he realizes it’s not a ball, but a golf club. Dan takes a closer look only to discover that it is an 8-iron – and it’s in the hands of a human skeleton laying near an old golf ball!
Dan yells out for his partner. “Hey Brandon, get over here, I got trouble down here!”
Brandon hurries over to the edge of the ravine and yells down, “What’s the matter Dan?”
Dan replies, “Bring me my 7-iron. You can’t get out of this stuff with an 8.”
Peanuts, Please
A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’d like to buy some peanuts.” The bartender says, “Sorry, don’t sell peanuts.” The duck leaves.
The next day, the duck returns and again says, “I want to buy some peanuts.” The bartender replies, a bit gruffly this time, “I already told you I don’t sell peanuts.” The duck leaves.
The next day, the duck comes in once again and yet again demands, “I want to buy some peanuts!” The outraged bartender yells back, “I told you, I don’t sell peanuts! If you ask one more time, I’ll nail you to the wall!” The duck leaves.
The next day, the duck walks into the bar and before the bartender can say a word, the duck asks, “Do you have any nails?” The bartender looks taken aback and says quietly, “Sorry, don’t have nails.”
The duck asks, “Well then, do you have any peanuts?”
Shorts
Golf balls are like eggs. They're white, sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy some more.
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Q: Why do Norwegian ships have barcodes on them?
A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!
A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!
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