The Trouble With Dating
Dating is complicated. You don’t believe us? Here are some examples:
Exercise Routine
My husband bought an exercise machine to help him shed a few pounds. He set it up in the basement but didn’t use it much, so he moved it to the bedroom.
It gathered dust there, too, so he put it in the living room. Weeks later I asked how it was going.
“I was right,” he said. “I do get more exercise now. Every time I close the drapes, I have to walk around the machine.”
Comic Conductor
Halfway between New York City and Washington, D.C., the train’s engine fell silent.
“I’ve got good news and bad news,” the conductor announced.
“The bad news is we lost power.” My fellow passengers groaned.
“The good news,” he added, “is we weren’t cruising at 30,000 feet.”
Lost and Found
While rummaging through her attic, my friend Kathryn found an old shotgun.
Unsure about how to dispose of it, she called her parents.
“Take it to the police station,” her mother suggested.
My friend was about to hang up when her mother added, “And Kathryn?”
“Yes, Mom?”
“Call first!”
Exit Interview
After giving birth, I quit my job. The exit questionnaire asked, “What steps would have prevented you from leaving?”
My answer: “Birth control.”
Good Genes?
The topic for my third-grade class was genetics.
Smiling broadly, I pointed to my dimples and asked, “What trait do you think I passed on to my children?”
One student called out, “Wrinkles!”
Shorts and Late Night
On the 50th anniversary of “Bonnie and Clyde,” the academy asked Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway to present Best Picture.
So Warren and Faye come out with the envelope.
In retrospect, what we know is Warren was confused, so he handed it to Faye and let her read it.
In other words, Clyde threw Bonnie under the bus.
-Jimmy Kimmel
There is so much going on in the world right now.
Not just in the world, there’s a lot going on in the universe.
For those of you who are looking to get off the planet, astronomers at the Carnegie Institution discovered more than 100 potential planets that may be habitable, which means we’re one step closer to finding a planet with intelligent life.
-Jimmy Kimmel
Don't just sit there smiling, share it with the rest of the class ---- Send us your humor BFloyd@ElectricSmarts.com
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- Right after we broke up, my ex-girlfriend called to ask how to change her relationship status on Facebook.
- I got into a 90-minute argument with my girlfriend because she was adamant that Moby Dick was a true story. I finally let her win so I could go to sleep.
- My now ex-girlfriend and I were in my room one day, and the Internet was particularly slow. After I complained, she suggested that I untangle my Ethernet cord so that more Internet could get through.
- I recently joined an online dating site, and one of my matches was my first cousin.
Exercise Routine
My husband bought an exercise machine to help him shed a few pounds. He set it up in the basement but didn’t use it much, so he moved it to the bedroom.
It gathered dust there, too, so he put it in the living room. Weeks later I asked how it was going.
“I was right,” he said. “I do get more exercise now. Every time I close the drapes, I have to walk around the machine.”
Comic Conductor
Halfway between New York City and Washington, D.C., the train’s engine fell silent.
“I’ve got good news and bad news,” the conductor announced.
“The bad news is we lost power.” My fellow passengers groaned.
“The good news,” he added, “is we weren’t cruising at 30,000 feet.”
Lost and Found
While rummaging through her attic, my friend Kathryn found an old shotgun.
Unsure about how to dispose of it, she called her parents.
“Take it to the police station,” her mother suggested.
My friend was about to hang up when her mother added, “And Kathryn?”
“Yes, Mom?”
“Call first!”
Exit Interview
After giving birth, I quit my job. The exit questionnaire asked, “What steps would have prevented you from leaving?”
My answer: “Birth control.”
Good Genes?
The topic for my third-grade class was genetics.
Smiling broadly, I pointed to my dimples and asked, “What trait do you think I passed on to my children?”
One student called out, “Wrinkles!”
Shorts and Late Night
On the 50th anniversary of “Bonnie and Clyde,” the academy asked Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway to present Best Picture.
So Warren and Faye come out with the envelope.
In retrospect, what we know is Warren was confused, so he handed it to Faye and let her read it.
In other words, Clyde threw Bonnie under the bus.
-Jimmy Kimmel
There is so much going on in the world right now.
Not just in the world, there’s a lot going on in the universe.
For those of you who are looking to get off the planet, astronomers at the Carnegie Institution discovered more than 100 potential planets that may be habitable, which means we’re one step closer to finding a planet with intelligent life.
-Jimmy Kimmel
Don't just sit there smiling, share it with the rest of the class ---- Send us your humor BFloyd@ElectricSmarts.com
You are reading the best eNewsletter in the Industry. It is filled with Business Ideas, Product and Technology Tips, Web TV interview, links to Online Courses; and it always contains a few laughs to lighten your day. Sign up your employees or friends below, or send us a list complete with their name, title and email, and we'll sign them up for you.
CLICK HERE to Subscribe
