Witch’s Werewolf
A witch’s werewolf has a problem so she takes him to the vet’s. The vet
looks at the werewolf and says that he’ll have to take him to the
examining room. In the examining room, he takes a black cat out of a
cage and lets the black cat walk all over the werewolf, but the werewolf
doesn’t do anything.
The doctor say “Your werewolf is dead.”
The witch goes out to the receptionist and asks for her bill.
“That’ll be $666” says the receptionist.
“What! $666? How’s that possible?”
Halloween Superstition
John decided to play a trick on his superstitious friend Henry.
Now Henry liked a drink at the local pub every Friday night.
One dark night Henry set off for home, meanwhile John hid in the churchyard. The scene was set.
Henry staggered on home, as he passed the churchyard he said out loud, “Where am I.“
John, from behind a grave, replied in a sepulchral voice: “Ammmongst the living.“
“Then where are you then?“ asked Henry. “Ammmmongst the deeaddd“ wailed John.
Henry sobered up and ran home faster than he had ever run before.
Pumpkin Deterrent
Mrs Jones was proud of her pumpkin patch, so she was real disappointed when some of the the local kids were taking them to make Jack-o-Lanterns.
One evening while Mrs Jones was soaking in the bath, the answer to the pumpkin thefts came to her. After supper she went out and put up a sign: “Beware, one of these pumpkins is coated with a special colourless rat poison!“
A day or two later when Mrs Jones checked out her pumpkin patch she was pleased to see that no more had been stolen. Then she saw a second sign next to hers which said: “NOW THERE ARE TWO!!“
Shorts
The doctor say “Your werewolf is dead.”
The witch goes out to the receptionist and asks for her bill.
“That’ll be $666” says the receptionist.
“What! $666? How’s that possible?”
“It’s $66 for the consultation, and $600 for the cat scan.”
Halloween Superstition
John decided to play a trick on his superstitious friend Henry.
Now Henry liked a drink at the local pub every Friday night.
One dark night Henry set off for home, meanwhile John hid in the churchyard. The scene was set.
Henry staggered on home, as he passed the churchyard he said out loud, “Where am I.“
John, from behind a grave, replied in a sepulchral voice: “Ammmongst the living.“
“Then where are you then?“ asked Henry. “Ammmmongst the deeaddd“ wailed John.
Henry sobered up and ran home faster than he had ever run before.
Pumpkin Deterrent
Mrs Jones was proud of her pumpkin patch, so she was real disappointed when some of the the local kids were taking them to make Jack-o-Lanterns.
One evening while Mrs Jones was soaking in the bath, the answer to the pumpkin thefts came to her. After supper she went out and put up a sign: “Beware, one of these pumpkins is coated with a special colourless rat poison!“
A day or two later when Mrs Jones checked out her pumpkin patch she was pleased to see that no more had been stolen. Then she saw a second sign next to hers which said: “NOW THERE ARE TWO!!“
Shorts
"Did you look at the pumpkin farm I sent you?" and other threats I say to my husband.
@momandburied
@momandburied
What kind of alley does a ghost prefer to haunt?
A dead end.
Why wasn't the vampire working?
He was on his coffin break.
What's a ghosts favourite ride at the carnival?
The roller ghoster
What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost?
Fasten your sheet belt.
A dead end.
Why wasn't the vampire working?
He was on his coffin break.
What's a ghosts favourite ride at the carnival?
The roller ghoster
What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost?
Fasten your sheet belt.
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