All Shorts and Late Night
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I
crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch
the 4:23 train.”
The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you might even catch the 4:11.”
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Optimist: The glass is half full.
Pessimist: The glass is half empty.
Mother: Why didn’t you use a coaster!
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Doctor: “Do you do sports?”
Patient: “Does sex count?”
Doctor: “Yes.”
Patient: “Then no.”
==========
In Spain, there is a tradition after a bullfight to serve the mayor the bull’s testicles.
One day after a bullfight, the mayor asks the waiter: “Funny, why are they so small today?”
The waiter: “Today, sir, the bull won.”
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Patient: Oh doctor, I’m just so nervous. This is my first operation.
Doctor: Don't worry. Mine too.
==========
I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 7 years in a row now.
==========
A naked women robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face.
==========
So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we’re having a baby. For instance my name, address and telephone number!
==========
Finally, the spring is here! I'm so thrilled I wet my plants.
==========
Sometimes I drink water - just to surprise my liver.
==========
You know you’re getting old when you stop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
-George Burns
==========
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
-George Burns
==========
First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
-Steve Martin
==========
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
-Steven Wright
==========
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
-Oscar Wilde
Don't just sit there smiling, share it with the rest of the class ---- Send us your humor BFloyd@ElectricSmarts.com
You are reading the best eNewsletter in the Industry. It is filled with Business Ideas, Product and Technology Tips, Web TV interview, links to Online Courses; and it always contains a few laughs to lighten your day. Sign up your employees or friends below, or send us a list complete with their name, title and email, and we'll sign them up for you.
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The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you might even catch the 4:11.”
==========
Optimist: The glass is half full.
Pessimist: The glass is half empty.
Mother: Why didn’t you use a coaster!
==========
Doctor: “Do you do sports?”
Patient: “Does sex count?”
Doctor: “Yes.”
Patient: “Then no.”
==========
In Spain, there is a tradition after a bullfight to serve the mayor the bull’s testicles.
One day after a bullfight, the mayor asks the waiter: “Funny, why are they so small today?”
The waiter: “Today, sir, the bull won.”
==========
Patient: Oh doctor, I’m just so nervous. This is my first operation.
Doctor: Don't worry. Mine too.
==========
I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 7 years in a row now.
==========
A naked women robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face.
==========
So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we’re having a baby. For instance my name, address and telephone number!
==========
Finally, the spring is here! I'm so thrilled I wet my plants.
==========
Sometimes I drink water - just to surprise my liver.
==========
You know you’re getting old when you stop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
-George Burns
==========
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
-George Burns
==========
First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
-Steve Martin
==========
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
-Steven Wright
==========
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
-Oscar Wilde
Don't just sit there smiling, share it with the rest of the class ---- Send us your humor BFloyd@ElectricSmarts.com
You are reading the best eNewsletter in the Industry. It is filled with Business Ideas, Product and Technology Tips, Web TV interview, links to Online Courses; and it always contains a few laughs to lighten your day. Sign up your employees or friends below, or send us a list complete with their name, title and email, and we'll sign them up for you.
CLICK HERE to Subscribe
