Fishing
The rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the pub.
A ragged old man was standing there in front of the puddle with a rod and hanging a string into the puddle.
A tipsy- looking, curious gentleman came over to him and asked what he was doing.
"Fishing," the old man said simply.
"Poor old fool," the gentleman thought and he invited the ragged old man for a drink in the pub.
As he felt he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whisky, the gentleman asked, "And how many have you caught?"
"You're the eighth," the old man answered.
Florida
A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!" and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding--a reason I've never before heard -- I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.
"Have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper.
Point of Service
At the clothing store where I work, I make it a point of pride to give customers my unvarnished opinion.
One day, when a man emerged from the fitting room, I took one look at him and shook my head. "No, no." I said. "Those jeans look terrible on you. I’ll go get you another pair."
As I walked away, I heard him mumble, "I was trying on the shirt."
Generation Gap
Her class assignment was to interview an "old person" about his life, so my niece asked me, "What was the biggest historical event that happened during your childhood?"
"I’d have to say the moonwalk," I replied.
She looked disappointed. "That dance was so important to you?"
Blind Date
"How was your blind date?"
"Terrible! He showed up in a 1932 Rolls-Royce."
"What’s so terrible about that?"
"He was the original owner."
Shorts and Late Nite
Time magazine has named “Ebola Fighters” the 2014 Person of the Year. The Ebola fighters said they were honored to be chosen and look forward to the ceremony. Then Time said, "Oh no, we'll just mail them to you."
Jeb Bush’s brother Neil said that their mother has “come around” to the idea of Jeb running for president in 2016. Because if there's anything that says you're qualified to be president, it's your own mom saying, “I guess you could do it."
-Jimmy Fallon
Kim Kardashian said recently that she gained weight while she was pregnant because God was punishing her for being “so hot.” Though if God is making more Kardashians, I think WE’RE the ones being punished.
-Seth Meyers
Buying a Puppy
A woman at my friend’s pet shop pointed to a Labrador puppy. "I want that one." she said. "But I don’t want the floor model."
Don't just sit there smiling, share it with the rest of the class ---- Send us your humor BFloyd@ElectricSmarts.com
You are reading the best eNewsletter in the Industry. It is filled with Business Ideas, Product and Technology Tips, Web TV interview, links to Online Courses; and it always contains a few laughs to lighten your day. Sign up your employees or friends below, or send us a list complete with their name, title and email, and we'll sign them up for you.
A ragged old man was standing there in front of the puddle with a rod and hanging a string into the puddle.
A tipsy- looking, curious gentleman came over to him and asked what he was doing.
"Fishing," the old man said simply.
"Poor old fool," the gentleman thought and he invited the ragged old man for a drink in the pub.
As he felt he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whisky, the gentleman asked, "And how many have you caught?"
"You're the eighth," the old man answered.
Florida
A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!" and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding--a reason I've never before heard -- I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.
"Have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper.
Point of Service
At the clothing store where I work, I make it a point of pride to give customers my unvarnished opinion.
One day, when a man emerged from the fitting room, I took one look at him and shook my head. "No, no." I said. "Those jeans look terrible on you. I’ll go get you another pair."
As I walked away, I heard him mumble, "I was trying on the shirt."
Generation Gap
Her class assignment was to interview an "old person" about his life, so my niece asked me, "What was the biggest historical event that happened during your childhood?"
"I’d have to say the moonwalk," I replied.
She looked disappointed. "That dance was so important to you?"
Blind Date
"How was your blind date?"
"Terrible! He showed up in a 1932 Rolls-Royce."
"What’s so terrible about that?"
"He was the original owner."
Shorts and Late Nite
Time magazine has named “Ebola Fighters” the 2014 Person of the Year. The Ebola fighters said they were honored to be chosen and look forward to the ceremony. Then Time said, "Oh no, we'll just mail them to you."
Jeb Bush’s brother Neil said that their mother has “come around” to the idea of Jeb running for president in 2016. Because if there's anything that says you're qualified to be president, it's your own mom saying, “I guess you could do it."
-Jimmy Fallon
Kim Kardashian said recently that she gained weight while she was pregnant because God was punishing her for being “so hot.” Though if God is making more Kardashians, I think WE’RE the ones being punished.
-Seth Meyers
Buying a Puppy
A woman at my friend’s pet shop pointed to a Labrador puppy. "I want that one." she said. "But I don’t want the floor model."
Don't just sit there smiling, share it with the rest of the class ---- Send us your humor BFloyd@ElectricSmarts.com
You are reading the best eNewsletter in the Industry. It is filled with Business Ideas, Product and Technology Tips, Web TV interview, links to Online Courses; and it always contains a few laughs to lighten your day. Sign up your employees or friends below, or send us a list complete with their name, title and email, and we'll sign them up for you.
