Three Men and a Genie
A project manager, a superintendent, and a field engineer are in Ft.
Lauderdale for a two-week period helping out on a project. About midweek
they decide to walk up and down the beach during their lunch hour.
Halfway up the beach, they stumbled upon a lamp. As they rub the lamp a
genie appears and says "Normally I would grant you 3 wishes, but since
there are 3 of you, I will grant you each one wish."
The superintendent went first. "I would like to spend the rest of my life living in a huge house in St. Thomas, with no money worries and surrounded by beautiful people who worship me."
The genie granted him his wish and sent him on off to St. Thomas. The field engineer went next.
"I would like to spend the rest of my life living on a huge yacht cruising the Mediterranean, with no money worries and surrounded by beautiful women who worship me."
The genie granted him his wish and sent him off to the Mediterranean. Last, but not least, it was the project manager's turn.
"And what would your wish be?" asked the genie. "I want them both back on site after lunch." replied the project manager.
Got Shingles
A man walked into a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He replied, “I got shingles.” She said, “Fill out this form and supply your name, address, medical insurance number. When you’re done, please take a seat.”
Fifteen minutes later a nurse’s aide came out and asked him what he had. He said, “I got shingles.” So she took down his height, weight, and complete medical history, then said, “Change into this gown and wait in the examining room.”
A half hour later a nurse came in and asked him what he had. He said, “I got shingles.” So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told him to wait for the doctor.
An hour later the doctor came in and asked him what he had. He said, “Shingles.” The doctor gave him a full-cavity examination, and then said, “I just checked you out thoroughly, and I can’t find shingles anywhere.”
The man replied, “They’re outside in the truck. Where do you want them?”
Why Don’t Programmers Build Houses?
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization.
Unprepared Highway Crew
One morning a local highway department crew reached their job-site and realized they had forgotten all their shovels.
The crew’s foreman radioed the office and told his supervisor of the situation.
The supervisor radioed back and said, “Don’t worry, we’ll send some shovels … just lean on each other until they arrive.”
Paternal Payback
On the day I received my learner’s permit, my father agreed to take me out for a driving lesson.
With a big grin, he hopped in behind the driver’s seat.
“Why aren’t you sitting up front on the passenger’s side?” I asked.
“Kirsten, I’ve been waiting for this ever since you were a little girl.” Dad replied.
“Now it’s my turn to sit back here and kick the seat.”
The Difference Between an Optimist and a Pessimist
“What’s the difference between an optimist and a pessimist?” I asked my husband.
He thought for a minute before responding, “An optimist is the guy who created the airplane. A pessimist is the guy who created the parachute.”
Grab Me a Grande Coffee Table, Too!
On a trip to Sweden, I asked a few people where I could find some good local cuisine.
“This is a pretty cosmopolitan city, so you can find just about any kind of international food that you’d like,” said one man.
“But if you want truly local cuisine, get the meatballs at IKEA.”
Can You Hear Me Ever?
I could barely understand my client due to a lousy phone connection.
“Sorry,” he said. “I have the AT&T every-other-word plan.”
Shorts and Late Night
Former President Bill Clinton is collaborating on a novel about a U.S. president who goes missing. Clinton is describing the novel as “part fiction, part alibi.”
North Korea reported that there was a U.S.-sponsored plot launched against Kim Jong Un. Apparently two CIA agents tried to sneak up on Kim and give him a man’s haircut.
-Conan O’Brien
American Airlines recently announced that they plan on cutting leg room in economy class, while United Airlines announced they’ll be cutting legs. “We are coming down with the beverage cart! Get your legs out of the aisle!”
According to a new biography, former President Obama proposed to a serious girlfriend he had before he met Michelle Obama, but he paused so long she walked away.
-Seth Meyers
Don't just sit there smiling, share it with the rest of the class ---- Send us your humor BFloyd@ElectricSmarts.com
You are reading the best eNewsletter in the Industry. It is filled with Business Ideas, Product and Technology Tips, Web TV interview, links to Online Courses; and it always contains a few laughs to lighten your day. Sign up your employees or friends below, or send us a list complete with their name, title and email, and we'll sign them up for you.
CLICK HERE to Subscribe
The superintendent went first. "I would like to spend the rest of my life living in a huge house in St. Thomas, with no money worries and surrounded by beautiful people who worship me."
The genie granted him his wish and sent him on off to St. Thomas. The field engineer went next.
"I would like to spend the rest of my life living on a huge yacht cruising the Mediterranean, with no money worries and surrounded by beautiful women who worship me."
The genie granted him his wish and sent him off to the Mediterranean. Last, but not least, it was the project manager's turn.
"And what would your wish be?" asked the genie. "I want them both back on site after lunch." replied the project manager.
Got Shingles
A man walked into a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He replied, “I got shingles.” She said, “Fill out this form and supply your name, address, medical insurance number. When you’re done, please take a seat.”
Fifteen minutes later a nurse’s aide came out and asked him what he had. He said, “I got shingles.” So she took down his height, weight, and complete medical history, then said, “Change into this gown and wait in the examining room.”
A half hour later a nurse came in and asked him what he had. He said, “I got shingles.” So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told him to wait for the doctor.
An hour later the doctor came in and asked him what he had. He said, “Shingles.” The doctor gave him a full-cavity examination, and then said, “I just checked you out thoroughly, and I can’t find shingles anywhere.”
The man replied, “They’re outside in the truck. Where do you want them?”
Why Don’t Programmers Build Houses?
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization.
Unprepared Highway Crew
One morning a local highway department crew reached their job-site and realized they had forgotten all their shovels.
The crew’s foreman radioed the office and told his supervisor of the situation.
The supervisor radioed back and said, “Don’t worry, we’ll send some shovels … just lean on each other until they arrive.”
Paternal Payback
On the day I received my learner’s permit, my father agreed to take me out for a driving lesson.
With a big grin, he hopped in behind the driver’s seat.
“Why aren’t you sitting up front on the passenger’s side?” I asked.
“Kirsten, I’ve been waiting for this ever since you were a little girl.” Dad replied.
“Now it’s my turn to sit back here and kick the seat.”
The Difference Between an Optimist and a Pessimist
“What’s the difference between an optimist and a pessimist?” I asked my husband.
He thought for a minute before responding, “An optimist is the guy who created the airplane. A pessimist is the guy who created the parachute.”
Grab Me a Grande Coffee Table, Too!
On a trip to Sweden, I asked a few people where I could find some good local cuisine.
“This is a pretty cosmopolitan city, so you can find just about any kind of international food that you’d like,” said one man.
“But if you want truly local cuisine, get the meatballs at IKEA.”
Can You Hear Me Ever?
I could barely understand my client due to a lousy phone connection.
“Sorry,” he said. “I have the AT&T every-other-word plan.”
Shorts and Late Night
Former President Bill Clinton is collaborating on a novel about a U.S. president who goes missing. Clinton is describing the novel as “part fiction, part alibi.”
North Korea reported that there was a U.S.-sponsored plot launched against Kim Jong Un. Apparently two CIA agents tried to sneak up on Kim and give him a man’s haircut.
-Conan O’Brien
American Airlines recently announced that they plan on cutting leg room in economy class, while United Airlines announced they’ll be cutting legs. “We are coming down with the beverage cart! Get your legs out of the aisle!”
According to a new biography, former President Obama proposed to a serious girlfriend he had before he met Michelle Obama, but he paused so long she walked away.
-Seth Meyers
Don't just sit there smiling, share it with the rest of the class ---- Send us your humor BFloyd@ElectricSmarts.com
You are reading the best eNewsletter in the Industry. It is filled with Business Ideas, Product and Technology Tips, Web TV interview, links to Online Courses; and it always contains a few laughs to lighten your day. Sign up your employees or friends below, or send us a list complete with their name, title and email, and we'll sign them up for you.
CLICK HERE to Subscribe
