Jokes on Them
There was a boy named Johnny who would hang around the corner store. The
other boys would pick on him, saying that he is stupid. To prove it,
they would offer him a nickle or a dime. He would always pick the nickel
and they would make fun of him, saying he picked it because it was
bigger.
One day the store clerk asked Johnny, "Why do you always pick the nickel? That's why they make fun of you. Do you choose it because it's bigger?"
Johnny replied, "Well if I stopped picking the nickel they would stop, and I've saved up $20!"
Office Mixup
A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work?"
"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
Wise Grocer
A grocer puts up a sign above his turkeys, "$5 each or $20 for three."
All day long people approach him outraged by his incorrect math, "It should be $15 for three, I'll just buy them separately."
All day people come buy and just buy them separately for less after yelling at him.
After one of his employees watch this go on all day he asks him, "Are you going to fix the sign or what?"
The grocer replies, "What do I need to fix? Before I put up the sign nobody bought three turkeys."
Shorts
Gave my son the "you live under my roof, you play by my rules" speech and my father's mustache immediately appeared on my face.
@dadandburied
Sign up for any one of our eNewsletters and stay informed on the latest new products, emerging technologies, and time-saving strategies in the industry. These industry focused newsletters give you the information you need, delivered right to your inbox.
One day the store clerk asked Johnny, "Why do you always pick the nickel? That's why they make fun of you. Do you choose it because it's bigger?"
Johnny replied, "Well if I stopped picking the nickel they would stop, and I've saved up $20!"
Office Mixup
A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work?"
"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."
Wise Grocer
A grocer puts up a sign above his turkeys, "$5 each or $20 for three."
All day long people approach him outraged by his incorrect math, "It should be $15 for three, I'll just buy them separately."
All day people come buy and just buy them separately for less after yelling at him.
After one of his employees watch this go on all day he asks him, "Are you going to fix the sign or what?"
The grocer replies, "What do I need to fix? Before I put up the sign nobody bought three turkeys."
Shorts
After church one Sunday, one
of the church goers walked up to his priest and said, "Father, is it a
sin to play golf on Sundays?"
"My son," said the priest, putting his hand on the man's shoulder, "I've seen your golf game, it's a sin any day".
"My son," said the priest, putting his hand on the man's shoulder, "I've seen your golf game, it's a sin any day".
-----
What do you call the boss at Old McDonald's Farm?
The CIEIO!
The CIEIO!
-----
Gave my son the "you live under my roof, you play by my rules" speech and my father's mustache immediately appeared on my face.
@dadandburied
Sign up for any one of our eNewsletters and stay informed on the latest new products, emerging technologies, and time-saving strategies in the industry. These industry focused newsletters give you the information you need, delivered right to your inbox.
