Airline Mix Up
Airborne approximately thirty minutes, on an outbound evening flight
from Glasgow, the lead flight attendant made the following painful
announcement:
"Ladies and gentlemen, I am very sorry but it appears that there has been a terrible mix-up by our airport catering service; we have 103 passengers on board and unfortunately only 40 dinner meals."
"I truly apologize for this mistake and inconvenience."
When passengers' muttering died down, she continued. "Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat, will receive free, unlimited drinks for the duration of our 5 hour flight."
Her next announcement came 90 minutes later.
"If anyone would like to change their minds, we still have 40 dinners available."
Social Media IRL
I’ve given up social media for the New Year and am trying to make friends outside Facebook while applying the same principles.
Every day, I walk down the street and tell passersby what I’ve eaten, how I feel, what I did the night before, and what I will do tomorrow.
Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and me gardening.
I also listen to their conversations and tell them I love them.
And it works.
I already have three people following me—two police officers and a psychiatrist.
Tutoring the Athlete
During graduate school, I tutored a football player in Psychology 101.
After the session, my supervising professor asked me if I was interested in the student, since he was a good-looking athlete.
“No, I’m not.” I assured him.
“Yeah, you probably prefer men who eat quiche.” he joked.
“Actually, I prefer men who can spell quiche.” I replied.
Think You'll Ever See These Honest Brand Slogans?
Hallmark: “When you care enough to give a card mass-produced by a corporation.”
Ritz Crackers: “Tiny, edible plates.”
Cliff Notes: “They’re still going to know you didn’t read the book.”
Gillette: “We’re just going to keep adding blades.”
ChapStick: “You’ll misplace it before the tube’s empty.”
Hot Pockets: “Every bite is a different temperature.”
Shorts
"I spilled spot remover on my dog, and now he’s gone."
-Steven Wright
"I constantly walk into a room, and I don’t remember why. But for some reason, I think there’s going to be a clue in the fridge. "
-Caroline Rhea
"I was the best man at the wedding. If I’m the best man, why is she marrying him?"
-Jerry Seinfeld
Why do they call it Rush Hour when nothing moves?
-Robin Williams
That’s My Girl!
Here in lies the difference in my kids’ personalities: My teenage son bought me a beautiful necklace; my daughter called dibs on it when I die.
Why, Yes. Yes, You Do
Once, when my mother asked me if she had any annoying habits, I observed that she typically follows up statements with a question asking for validation.
She thought a moment and then admitted, “I do, do that. Don’t I?”
More Social Media
A thief on the lam was arrested soon after liking a copy of his Wanted poster on a Crime Stoppers Facebook page.
Don't just sit there smiling, share it with the rest of the class ---- Send us your humor BFloyd@ElectricSmarts.com
You are reading the best eNewsletter in the Industry. It is filled with Business Ideas, Product and Technology Tips, Web TV interview, links to Online Courses; and it always contains a few laughs to lighten your day. Sign up your employees or friends below, or send us a list complete with their name, title and email, and we'll sign them up for you.
CLICK HERE to Subscribe
"Ladies and gentlemen, I am very sorry but it appears that there has been a terrible mix-up by our airport catering service; we have 103 passengers on board and unfortunately only 40 dinner meals."
"I truly apologize for this mistake and inconvenience."
When passengers' muttering died down, she continued. "Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat, will receive free, unlimited drinks for the duration of our 5 hour flight."
Her next announcement came 90 minutes later.
"If anyone would like to change their minds, we still have 40 dinners available."
Social Media IRL
I’ve given up social media for the New Year and am trying to make friends outside Facebook while applying the same principles.
Every day, I walk down the street and tell passersby what I’ve eaten, how I feel, what I did the night before, and what I will do tomorrow.
Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and me gardening.
I also listen to their conversations and tell them I love them.
And it works.
I already have three people following me—two police officers and a psychiatrist.
Tutoring the Athlete
During graduate school, I tutored a football player in Psychology 101.
After the session, my supervising professor asked me if I was interested in the student, since he was a good-looking athlete.
“No, I’m not.” I assured him.
“Yeah, you probably prefer men who eat quiche.” he joked.
“Actually, I prefer men who can spell quiche.” I replied.
Think You'll Ever See These Honest Brand Slogans?
Hallmark: “When you care enough to give a card mass-produced by a corporation.”
Ritz Crackers: “Tiny, edible plates.”
Cliff Notes: “They’re still going to know you didn’t read the book.”
Gillette: “We’re just going to keep adding blades.”
ChapStick: “You’ll misplace it before the tube’s empty.”
Hot Pockets: “Every bite is a different temperature.”
Shorts
"I spilled spot remover on my dog, and now he’s gone."
-Steven Wright
"I constantly walk into a room, and I don’t remember why. But for some reason, I think there’s going to be a clue in the fridge. "
-Caroline Rhea
"I was the best man at the wedding. If I’m the best man, why is she marrying him?"
-Jerry Seinfeld
Why do they call it Rush Hour when nothing moves?
-Robin Williams
That’s My Girl!
Here in lies the difference in my kids’ personalities: My teenage son bought me a beautiful necklace; my daughter called dibs on it when I die.
Why, Yes. Yes, You Do
Once, when my mother asked me if she had any annoying habits, I observed that she typically follows up statements with a question asking for validation.
She thought a moment and then admitted, “I do, do that. Don’t I?”
More Social Media
A thief on the lam was arrested soon after liking a copy of his Wanted poster on a Crime Stoppers Facebook page.
Don't just sit there smiling, share it with the rest of the class ---- Send us your humor BFloyd@ElectricSmarts.com
You are reading the best eNewsletter in the Industry. It is filled with Business Ideas, Product and Technology Tips, Web TV interview, links to Online Courses; and it always contains a few laughs to lighten your day. Sign up your employees or friends below, or send us a list complete with their name, title and email, and we'll sign them up for you.
CLICK HERE to Subscribe
