Desperate Ties...
On the day of my big job interview I woke up late. Frantically I threw on a suit. “OH NO!” I thought. “MY TIE!
My Dad was out of town and wasn’t there to help me, and for the life of me I did not know how to tie a tie! I grabbed a tie and ran out the door.
“Excuse me sir,” I said to the crossing guard, “I have an important job interview, can you please help me make this tie?!”
“Sure” said the guard, “just lie down on this bench.”
Well if someone was going to help me I wasn’t going to ask any questions.
After he finished and the tie looked good I just had to ask why I had to lie down.
“Well in my previous job I learned how to tie tie’s on other people when they were lying down. He replied.
What was your previous job? I asked incredulously.
The King's Throne
My Dad was out of town and wasn’t there to help me, and for the life of me I did not know how to tie a tie! I grabbed a tie and ran out the door.
“Excuse me sir,” I said to the crossing guard, “I have an important job interview, can you please help me make this tie?!”
“Sure” said the guard, “just lie down on this bench.”
Well if someone was going to help me I wasn’t going to ask any questions.
After he finished and the tie looked good I just had to ask why I had to lie down.
“Well in my previous job I learned how to tie tie’s on other people when they were lying down. He replied.
What was your previous job? I asked incredulously.
“I ran a morg.” Was the reply.
The King's Throne
Even though they could have afforded to live anywhere they wanted, tradition dictated they stay on their tiny island home.
Eventually, their king became frustrated and called a meeting of the tribe's elders. He said he wanted them to figure out a way he could enjoy his wealth, and stay within traditional guidelines.
After much consideration, the elders suggested he build a magnificent throne. When he objected there was not enough room in his hut for a throne, the elders suggested he call in an engineer to solve the problem.
Soon, the king's tiny hut was rigged with an elaborate system of ropes and pulleys. He could lower the huge throne for use during the day, and at night, he could haul the throne up, and lower his bed. This was truly the best of both worlds for the king.
Unfortunately, after a few months of constant use, the ropes frayed, and one night, the throne slipped and came crashing down on the king, killing him.
The Writer
Bill loved to write. He wrote articles, compositions, poems, anything he could think of he wrote.
Although he tried desperately to have his hard work published he was never able to find anyone interested.
It was after a year of not seeing one of his friends that he bumped into him at a supermarket. “Harry am I glad to see you! Do you know that my readership doubled since I last say you!?”
“Congratulations!” Said Harry barely glancing up from the meat he was examining, “nobody told me that you got married!”
Shorts
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Eventually, their king became frustrated and called a meeting of the tribe's elders. He said he wanted them to figure out a way he could enjoy his wealth, and stay within traditional guidelines.
After much consideration, the elders suggested he build a magnificent throne. When he objected there was not enough room in his hut for a throne, the elders suggested he call in an engineer to solve the problem.
Soon, the king's tiny hut was rigged with an elaborate system of ropes and pulleys. He could lower the huge throne for use during the day, and at night, he could haul the throne up, and lower his bed. This was truly the best of both worlds for the king.
Unfortunately, after a few months of constant use, the ropes frayed, and one night, the throne slipped and came crashing down on the king, killing him.
The
wise men of the island recognized a lesson in this experience and added
to the lore of their people this statement: "People who live in grass
houses should not stow thrones."
The Writer
Bill loved to write. He wrote articles, compositions, poems, anything he could think of he wrote.
Although he tried desperately to have his hard work published he was never able to find anyone interested.
It was after a year of not seeing one of his friends that he bumped into him at a supermarket. “Harry am I glad to see you! Do you know that my readership doubled since I last say you!?”
“Congratulations!” Said Harry barely glancing up from the meat he was examining, “nobody told me that you got married!”
Shorts
Think you are chill and laid back? Watch your kid build and decorate a gingerbread house without intervening.
@simoncholland
@simoncholland
Supermarket manager: the customers know where everything is on the shelves now
Customers: yup
Supermarket manager: would be a shame if I were to...
Customers: oh no
Supermarket manager: ...rearrange all the products
@abbieevansxo
Customers: yup
Supermarket manager: would be a shame if I were to...
Customers: oh no
Supermarket manager: ...rearrange all the products
@abbieevansxo
