Dad's New Wife Tries To Ruin Her Wedding Day, But...
Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement – not even her parents' nasty divorce.
Her mother had found the perfect dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!
A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother.
Jennifer asked her father's new young wife to exchange it, but she refused. "Absolutely not! I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it." she replied.
Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, "Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day."
A few days later, they went shopping, and did find another gorgeous dress for her mother.
When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it."
Her mother just smiled and replied, "Of course I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding."
Mom Suspected Her Son Was In a Relationship With His Roommate
A Mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl roommate.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty his roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between him and his roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, the son volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, we are just roommates."
About a week later, his roommate came to him saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
He said,"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure."
He sat down and wrote :
Dear Mother:
I'm not saying that you 'did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the silver plate but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
Your Son
Several days later, he received an email from his Mother which read:
Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you DO sleep with your roommate, and I'm not saying that you DO NOT sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now, under the pillow.
Love,
Mom
Jack Wants to Go Golfing
Four guys have been going to the same golfing trip to St. Andrews for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Jack's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Jack's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do. Two days later, the three get to St. Andrews only to find Jack sitting at the bar with four drinks set up!
"Wow, Jack, how long have you been here, and how did you talk your missus into letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since last night. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my living room chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and asked, 'Guess who?" I pulled her hands off, and there she was, wearing a nightie. She took my hand and pulled me into our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. Well she's been reading 50 Shades of Grey...... She told me to tie her up, so I did."
And then she said, "Do whatever you want."
So... here I am!
An Elderly Couple
An elderly couple goes to their favorite restaurant they’ve been visiting together for decades. The man addresses his wife with all sorts of endearments, calling her his darling, sweetheart, his treasure etc.
When the lady excuses herself and goes to the bathroom, the waiter comments to the man, “Wow, you have an amazing relationship with your wife, all those lovely names you call her…”
The man looks at him, “To be honest, it has become a necessity. I actually forgot her name about 3 years ago.”
Shorts and Late Night
Thank you for your birthday wishes on Facebook. Who are you by the way?
======
An employee complains to his boss, “Sorry boss, but the salary doesn’t even remotely match the effort I put into my work.”
Boss nods, “I know, but we can’t let you starve to death.”
=====
You don’t get smarter when you become older. There just aren’t so many stupid things left that you haven’t done yet.
======
Two days ago, my friend Peter ran off with my wife.”
“Oh no, how long have you been friends?”
“Since two days ago.”
=====
I tried to re-marry my ex-wife.
But she figured out I was only after my money.
=====
“I’ve had it with your silly remarks about my weight. I’m leaving you!”
“But honey, what about our child?”
“What child?!”
“Oh, so you’re not pregnant?”
=====
Arguing with the wife is a lot like trying to read the Terms of Use on the internet. In the end you just give up and go “I Agree”.
It's my wife's birthday on Monday. I asked her last month what she would like to get as a present. 'Oh, I don't know,' she told me, 'anything with diamonds would be lovely.” I bet she’s going to love her brand new set of playing cards!
Arguing with your husband is fun, even if he wins... he loses.
Life hack: Hold your wife’s hand in the shopping mall. If you don’t, she might start shopping. For her it is romantic; for you it is economical.
Don't just sit there smiling, share it with the rest of the class ---- Send us your humor BFloyd@ElectricSmarts.com
You are reading the best eNewsletter in the Industry. It is filled with Business Ideas, Product and Technology Tips, Web TV interview, links to Online Courses; and it always contains a few laughs to lighten your day. Sign up your employees or friends below, or send us a list complete with their name, title and email, and we'll sign them up for you.
CLICK HERE to subscribe.
Her mother had found the perfect dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!
A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother.
Jennifer asked her father's new young wife to exchange it, but she refused. "Absolutely not! I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it." she replied.
Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, "Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day."
A few days later, they went shopping, and did find another gorgeous dress for her mother.
When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it."
Her mother just smiled and replied, "Of course I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding."
Mom Suspected Her Son Was In a Relationship With His Roommate
A Mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl roommate.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty his roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between him and his roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, the son volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, we are just roommates."
About a week later, his roommate came to him saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
He said,"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure."
He sat down and wrote :
Dear Mother:
I'm not saying that you 'did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the silver plate but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
Your Son
Several days later, he received an email from his Mother which read:
Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you DO sleep with your roommate, and I'm not saying that you DO NOT sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now, under the pillow.
Love,
Mom
Jack Wants to Go Golfing
Four guys have been going to the same golfing trip to St. Andrews for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Jack's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Jack's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do. Two days later, the three get to St. Andrews only to find Jack sitting at the bar with four drinks set up!
"Wow, Jack, how long have you been here, and how did you talk your missus into letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since last night. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my living room chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and asked, 'Guess who?" I pulled her hands off, and there she was, wearing a nightie. She took my hand and pulled me into our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. Well she's been reading 50 Shades of Grey...... She told me to tie her up, so I did."
And then she said, "Do whatever you want."
So... here I am!
An Elderly Couple
An elderly couple goes to their favorite restaurant they’ve been visiting together for decades. The man addresses his wife with all sorts of endearments, calling her his darling, sweetheart, his treasure etc.
When the lady excuses herself and goes to the bathroom, the waiter comments to the man, “Wow, you have an amazing relationship with your wife, all those lovely names you call her…”
The man looks at him, “To be honest, it has become a necessity. I actually forgot her name about 3 years ago.”
Shorts and Late Night
Thank you for your birthday wishes on Facebook. Who are you by the way?
======
An employee complains to his boss, “Sorry boss, but the salary doesn’t even remotely match the effort I put into my work.”
Boss nods, “I know, but we can’t let you starve to death.”
=====
You don’t get smarter when you become older. There just aren’t so many stupid things left that you haven’t done yet.
======
Two days ago, my friend Peter ran off with my wife.”
“Oh no, how long have you been friends?”
“Since two days ago.”
=====
I tried to re-marry my ex-wife.
But she figured out I was only after my money.
=====
“I’ve had it with your silly remarks about my weight. I’m leaving you!”
“But honey, what about our child?”
“What child?!”
“Oh, so you’re not pregnant?”
=====
Arguing with the wife is a lot like trying to read the Terms of Use on the internet. In the end you just give up and go “I Agree”.
It's my wife's birthday on Monday. I asked her last month what she would like to get as a present. 'Oh, I don't know,' she told me, 'anything with diamonds would be lovely.” I bet she’s going to love her brand new set of playing cards!
Arguing with your husband is fun, even if he wins... he loses.
Life hack: Hold your wife’s hand in the shopping mall. If you don’t, she might start shopping. For her it is romantic; for you it is economical.
Don't just sit there smiling, share it with the rest of the class ---- Send us your humor BFloyd@ElectricSmarts.com
You are reading the best eNewsletter in the Industry. It is filled with Business Ideas, Product and Technology Tips, Web TV interview, links to Online Courses; and it always contains a few laughs to lighten your day. Sign up your employees or friends below, or send us a list complete with their name, title and email, and we'll sign them up for you.
CLICK HERE to subscribe.
