Lights Out
In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing a train smashed into a car
and pushed it nearly four hundred yards down the track. Though no one
was killed, the driver took the train company to court.
At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the driver ample warning by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he'd done it. The court believed his story, and the suit was dismissed.
"Congratulations," the lawyer said to the engineer when it was over. "You did superbly under cross-examination."
"Thanks," he said, "but he sure had me worried."
"How's that?" the lawyer asked.
"I was afraid he was going to ask if the lantern was lit!"
Not From These Parts
A out-of-towner in New York at the height of the tourist season decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he'd enjoyed on a previous trip to the city. Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he said, "You know, it's been over five years since I first came in here."
"I'm sorry, but you'll have to wait your turn, sir," replied the waiter with typical New York charm. "I can only serve one table at a time."
The Post Office
A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store.
As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, "Son, can you tell me where the post office is?"
The little boy replied, "Sure, just go straight down the street a couple of blocks and turn to your right."
The man thanked the boy kindly and said, "I'm the new pastor in town, and I'd like for you to come to church on Sunday. I'll show you how to get to Heaven."
The little boy replied with a chuckle. "Awww, come on. You don't even know the way to the Post Office."
Shorts
David: Mom, I met an Irish boy on St. Patrick’s Day.
Mom: Oh, really?
David: No, O’Reilly!
=====
The most impressive scene in any spy movie is in Casino Royale when James Bond is in a hotel shower and knows immediately how to use it.
-@1followernodad
Sign up for any one of our eNewsletters and stay informed on the latest new products, emerging technologies, and time-saving strategies in the industry. These industry focused newsletters give you the information you need, delivered right to your inbox.
At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the driver ample warning by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he'd done it. The court believed his story, and the suit was dismissed.
"Congratulations," the lawyer said to the engineer when it was over. "You did superbly under cross-examination."
"Thanks," he said, "but he sure had me worried."
"How's that?" the lawyer asked.
"I was afraid he was going to ask if the lantern was lit!"
Not From These Parts
A out-of-towner in New York at the height of the tourist season decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he'd enjoyed on a previous trip to the city. Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he said, "You know, it's been over five years since I first came in here."
"I'm sorry, but you'll have to wait your turn, sir," replied the waiter with typical New York charm. "I can only serve one table at a time."
The Post Office
A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store.
As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, "Son, can you tell me where the post office is?"
The little boy replied, "Sure, just go straight down the street a couple of blocks and turn to your right."
The man thanked the boy kindly and said, "I'm the new pastor in town, and I'd like for you to come to church on Sunday. I'll show you how to get to Heaven."
The little boy replied with a chuckle. "Awww, come on. You don't even know the way to the Post Office."
Shorts
David: Mom, I met an Irish boy on St. Patrick’s Day.
Mom: Oh, really?
David: No, O’Reilly!
=====
The most impressive scene in any spy movie is in Casino Royale when James Bond is in a hotel shower and knows immediately how to use it.
-@1followernodad
Sign up for any one of our eNewsletters and stay informed on the latest new products, emerging technologies, and time-saving strategies in the industry. These industry focused newsletters give you the information you need, delivered right to your inbox.
