New England Home
My husband and I purchased an old home in Northern New York State from two elderly sisters.
Winter was fast approaching and I was concerned about the house's lack of insulation.
"If they could live here all those years, so can we!" my husband confidently declared.
One November night the temperature plunged to below zero, and we woke up to find interior walls covered with frost.
My husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm. After a rather brief conversation, he hung up.
"For the past 30 years," he muttered, "they've gone to Florida for the winter."
A Unique Timepiece
Proudly showing
off his new apartment to a friend late one night, the drunk led the way
to his bedroom, where there was a big brass gong.
“What’s that big brass gong for?” asked the friend.
“It’s not a gong. It’s a talking clock,” the drunk replied.
“A talking clock? How’s it work?”
“Watch,” said the drunk.
“What’s that big brass gong for?” asked the friend.
“It’s not a gong. It’s a talking clock,” the drunk replied.
“A talking clock? How’s it work?”
“Watch,” said the drunk.
He picked up a hammer, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound and stepped back.
Someone on the other side of the wall screamed, “Hey, you jerk! It’s three in the morning!”
Shorts
Building Inspector: Well, you
say you've kept everything up to code, but I've been speaking with your
4-year-old and he informed me the floor is actually lava, which- I
don't need to tell you - is a pretty serious safety violation.
"Watch out for deer" is just southern for I love you.
@taylorpaigeeee_
I never understood how the little drummer boy's parents could just send him outside alone at night to play his drum until my daughter brought home a recorder.
@simoncholland
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