Pick the Bride
My cousin was in love and wanted to introduce his bride-to-be to his
hypercritical mother. But in order to get an unbiased opinion, he
invited over three other female friends as well and didn't tell his mom
which one he intended to marry.
After the four women left, he asked his mother, "Can you guess which one I want to marry?"
"The one with short hair."
"Yes! How'd you know?"
Tip Trick
An old guy walks into a bar and the bartender asks for ID.
"You've got to be kidding," he said. "I'm almost 60 years old."
The bartender apologized, but said he had to see the license.
Some librarians may be shy, but their patrons aren’t. Look at their oddball requests:
A patron offered me $100 to steal a cactus from somebody’s yard.
A patron wanted me to find a book to teach her dog German.
A patron on his way to the casino asked to rub my red hair for luck.
A patron once asked me for my home phone number so she could call me with reference questions when I wasn’t at work.
-Roz Warren
Shorts
After the four women left, he asked his mother, "Can you guess which one I want to marry?"
"The one with short hair."
"Yes! How'd you know?"
"Because that's the one I didn't like."
An old guy walks into a bar and the bartender asks for ID.
"You've got to be kidding," he said. "I'm almost 60 years old."
The bartender apologized, but said he had to see the license.
The guy showed his ID, then paid and told the bartender to keep the change. "The tips for carding me," he said.
The bartender put the change in the tip cup.
"Thanks," he said. "Works every time."
Weird Things Librarians Hear
Some librarians may be shy, but their patrons aren’t. Look at their oddball requests:
A patron offered me $100 to steal a cactus from somebody’s yard.
A patron wanted me to find a book to teach her dog German.
A patron on his way to the casino asked to rub my red hair for luck.
A patron once asked me for my home phone number so she could call me with reference questions when I wasn’t at work.
-Roz Warren
Shorts
A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha! That’s not going to help,” she said.
“Sure, it does,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
I wonder who is laughing at me harder when I pack my bag for a vacation: my workout clothes or my book.
@mollymcnearney
“Guess who I saw today?” ~ people who think there’s like 5 people in the world.
@thedad
“Sure, it does,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
I wonder who is laughing at me harder when I pack my bag for a vacation: my workout clothes or my book.
@mollymcnearney
“Guess who I saw today?” ~ people who think there’s like 5 people in the world.
@thedad
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